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What have i done with myself?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Entity, Aug 15, 2010.

  1. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    So for those of you that do not know. Ronnie cheated on me and broke up with me and a lot of drama happened after that and i had to block her number and whatever i'm not gonna even go there. but i've completely fucked up my life. I've been doing all kinds of drugs quite frequently actually, and i'm drinking all the time constantly, and i've been having sex with pretty much anyone in my age group that asks. I don't know what's happened to me. It's like when i lost her i lost everything. she really was everything to me. i'm pretty sure by now i never REALLY loved anyone before her. She was deff my first love. and i can't seem to get over her. it's been 6 weeks and four days. but who's counting right? I just wanna die. i'm so done with this stupid fucked up way of living but that weird part is i don't even have the energy or the will to fix it. i just wanna give up. i really don't give a shit anymore. how terrible is that? I wish someone could help me change my mind about life coz atm i don't know how i'm still alive. my attempts aren't working. i don't know why :cry: i just wanna leave and never come back disappear forever off the face of the earth. why is that so hard for this so called God to understand?
  2. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Can you identify the reasons as to why she cheated on you and broke up with you?
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    You know how i feel and you know what i've said but just stopping by to give a hug :hug:

    You have Ami now, someone who really cares.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I remeber my first love. My heart was broken as your is. It is a learning experience, and I know Yahweh understands more than you give him credit for. I know that the world seems like it is ending right now in your pain and depression, but you can make it through this. Don't give up. Blessings.. :hug: