So for those of you that do not know. Ronnie cheated on me and broke up with me and a lot of drama happened after that and i had to block her number and whatever i'm not gonna even go there. but i've completely fucked up my life. I've been doing all kinds of drugs quite frequently actually, and i'm drinking all the time constantly, and i've been having sex with pretty much anyone in my age group that asks. I don't know what's happened to me. It's like when i lost her i lost everything. she really was everything to me. i'm pretty sure by now i never REALLY loved anyone before her. She was deff my first love. and i can't seem to get over her. it's been 6 weeks and four days. but who's counting right? I just wanna die. i'm so done with this stupid fucked up way of living but that weird part is i don't even have the energy or the will to fix it. i just wanna give up. i really don't give a shit anymore. how terrible is that? I wish someone could help me change my mind about life coz atm i don't know how i'm still alive. my attempts aren't working. i don't know why :cry: i just wanna leave and never come back disappear forever off the face of the earth. why is that so hard for this so called God to understand?