What have I done

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by gingabyte, Oct 25, 2010.

  1. gingabyte

    gingabyte New Member

    When I was younger (many years ago, 21 now) I did some things which were wrong, which at the time I dint really think about. I have recently spoken about it to someone close and they understood that I didn't know what I was doing and that I wouldn't do it again.

    The problem now is that I can't stop thinking about it and what happened and what that makes me. I have OCD which means thoughts just go around and around in my head and at the moment I can't go on. I feel like the s**tist person in the world and don't deserve to live. I have stopped going to the gym, sold my nice car, stopped going out etc. All to punish myself.

    I think it would be better for all if I wasn't here. The only thing that stops me is that I wouldn't want to put my parents and friends through the pain. I 'owe' it to them to just plod on miserable and depressed and wanting to end it.

    I don't know what I expect to learn on here. Since it feels like ive convinced myself what to think and do.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Not sure what you are talking about, but if you were young and did not know what you were doing, why are you punishing yourself so? I think there comes a time when we have to forgive ourselves, know we all make mistakes, and move on...please think about this and I hope you can find self compassion...big hugs, J
  3. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Yea, Ive made some mistakes in life to. Some were pretty big, but I did learn from them. I think life is like that, a learning process.

    Im sorry that you feel so bad, wish I had the right words to change your outlook. Just know that tomorrow is a new day. Do you want to talk about the mistakes youve made, maybe that will help you know that its okay to be human to make mistakes. I bet there will people on here thats make those same mistakes.