When I was younger (many years ago, 21 now) I did some things which were wrong, which at the time I dint really think about. I have recently spoken about it to someone close and they understood that I didn't know what I was doing and that I wouldn't do it again. The problem now is that I can't stop thinking about it and what happened and what that makes me. I have OCD which means thoughts just go around and around in my head and at the moment I can't go on. I feel like the s**tist person in the world and don't deserve to live. I have stopped going to the gym, sold my nice car, stopped going out etc. All to punish myself. I think it would be better for all if I wasn't here. The only thing that stops me is that I wouldn't want to put my parents and friends through the pain. I 'owe' it to them to just plod on miserable and depressed and wanting to end it. I don't know what I expect to learn on here. Since it feels like ive convinced myself what to think and do.