What hurts more?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TWF, Oct 21, 2011.

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  1. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Having no opportunities in life due to circumstances beyond your control thus not coming far? Or having all of the opportunity in the world gifted to you and fucking up each and every single one of them?
  2. joonior

    joonior Active Member

    Definitely the latter, although I wouldn't say I've been given a ton of opportunity. It almost feels like I purposely screw up my life.

    How 'bout yourself? You didn't answer your own question :-/
  3. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I think they hurt equally. Either way you're not succeeding. =/
  4. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    it's subjective to the person. someone with no opportunities would struggle to imagine what it's like to have lots of opportunities but lots of stuf ups, and vice versa.

    theyd both hurt. but it also depends on a person's pain tolerance level.
  5. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I don't know the answer....

    This question has arisen from a conversation with a friend. Before he was given the opportunity to live in this country and build something for himself he was a child soldier, wounded by a grenade, he had never seen his family etc. Yet he seems to have more motivation and drive than I do to make the most of what he has and is able to make friends with ease and be independent and strong.

    I am the complete opposite, I had everything required. The only thing I didn't have was friends and a stupid mental disorder holding me back. But I struggle to find dreams with the little opportunity I still have left at this stage of my life. I hate the person I am and feel like I don't deserve anything I've had handed to me... I feel like I should be thankful for what I have but I can't be... I don't want it anymore.

    It feels like I project all the negative energy back on myself in the form of self-hatred after missing out on big opportunities due to my own failures. But he somehow turns his past into his energy and seems to have gained strength from it.....

    It's complicated.
  6. joonior

    joonior Active Member

    I've felt the same way. When I was at the VA hospital there was this guy had some degenerative condition in which his immune system attacked his body. He lost most of his eyesight, was wheelchair-bound, needed someone to feed him, had months to live AND his wife left him during this. What's worse is he was only 34 years old. The man still had a good attitude, was kind to others and didn't seem down on himself or feel like he'd been dealt a bad hand.

    One would think this would offer motivation to me that things aren't that bad, but nope. Still dwelling on my issues.

    I mean, people are starving in other countries, willing to do whatever it takes just to survive, and here I am, a white man in a country that offers considerably more than most others, and I just feel bad for myself. So pathetic (me, not you).
  7. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    I'd say the second one is worse because then you know you're a failure, where as the first you can say "well i was never given the opportunity".
  8. Loose

    Loose Member

    I don't know, the despair of not getting any opportunities in the first place can be quite painful as well.
  9. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I agree...
  10. Meg630

    Meg630 New Member

    both are equally as shitty depending on what side of the fence you are on
    either way we feel we are to blame for one reason or another it just seems to be how atleast iam wired
  11. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Personally I think that the latter is much worse, but i havent experienced the first one enough to know.
  12. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    It seems like a tough choice. But I seem to be leaning slightly more towards the latter, especially since it applies to me. It is a horrible feeling to have so much potential and chances and then squander it all, especially if someone else could use it instead.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I would go for the latter just to see how far I could make it last..
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