What I ahte most!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by h0tshot, Jul 24, 2012.

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  1. h0tshot

    h0tshot Member

    I can't stand it when people act like they care with knowing so very little about you except only to know you wish to die.
    My one life will not make a difference so stop trying to convince me into not killing myself please.
    Trust me your not helping, because for everyday i go on I feel worse................. I have no dreams and I cannot sleep, that's how bad it is.
    Every Time I do something I post it up on these forums like an idiot for reasons unknown, but probably to show I gave my best to stop the pain and to actually seek help. Then I start writing to some random person explaining the hell I'm in and they respond "it'll get better" or "seek help." There is no help and the reason I have most of this emptiness is because I seeked help but now because of that supposed help I can't even sleep anymore. People do more damage then they do fix and that's nature; You must destroy to create a new, but the problem is your destroying my life and what minute things that keep me going. I am at my breaking limit and it hurts so bad that cutting myself won't even faze me; I have gone completely numb and it hurts. Then I get cold stares by people because they know I've given up but the funny thing is they never ran to my aid even when they saw me falling. Why did I have to hit rock bottom in order to get attention. Why do people have to suffer to the point of suicide to be noticed. Why can't all these fucked up people can't just open their eyes and get their heads out of their asses to see the obvious that pain can cause somebody to kill themselves just so it'd stop. I don't want anymore help, you've done enough, I applaud you for you work because I never thought I'd reach such low levels to the point, killing myself sounds like music to my ears at this point lol I actually can't wait to die.
    I don't want to live please accept that, stop trying to make a difference with me it's already too late; I've given up so please I'm crying when I write this let me die so I can actually be happy.

    I just want someone to tell me

    "it's okay, we understand. I hope all your pain goes away." that would put the biggest smile on my face even if it's a lie
  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Well, I can agree with you for the most part, but do like to think that most people here can and do everything in their power to help others; yet that help only works when the recipient makes a conscious decision to follow up on those tips that could well turn things around in their life.
    But, in the end, to suicide is a personal decision and if someone was truly intent on it, then they would not be so concerned with what anyone thinks or says.
    Then again, anything negative is said about me, I tend to push out of my mind anyway. If someone else has a problem with me, then it is their problem to deal with; I simply go on doing what I have been doing. Perhaps you should try an approach like that?
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    With all due respect, this is a pro-life site and so you are going to hear responses that attempt to push you toward positive rather than negative. What is it that you seek from this site? I do not think you will get a blessing for the actions that you wish to carry out. People can UNDERSTAND how you feel, but understanding does not mean accepting an ill fate. It should not matter what other people think or feel, you should focus on your own feelings of self and being. It is not others that need to run to your aide, you need to run to the assistance. Yes, this IS a "it will get better IF YOU TRY and IF YOU WANT IT TO" type reply. I could have not replied at all, but you posted and therefore you opened the door to responses. In life, we must learn to listen and to take from things what works for us and to disregard the rest. Getting upset that others contribute positive energy is not the answer - if it's not something that works for you, then just ignore it. Find the things that do work (dying is not it, regardless what you think). Flame me if you will, but I believe in you even if you do not.
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