What I did

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Mil, Oct 1, 2009.

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  1. Mil

    Mil Member

    I'm highly stress prone. I was doing an assignment and it became clear I wouldn't finish so I <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. I thought it would be painless. It hurt like hell and I wandered around until I wound up at my school... they figured something was wrong and called an ambulance.

    They weren't going to release me from hospital but I lied and said it was impulsive and that I'd never try it again. Like I said, I lied. I know exactly how I'd do it if I decided to do it again. Which at the moment, I have no doubt I will. I lie to my psychologist too. It is none of her business.

    I'm now the crazy person in my year at school.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2009
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hello Millie,

    It sounds like school is really grinding you down. I'm guessing that the assignment itself wasn't the reason you took all those pills, but maybe the final straw? Have you talked to anyone about how you are feeling, family? or friends at school? I gather you don't think much of your psychologist - I suppose I ought to say that she's only trying to help, but sometimes it can feel like you're being pressured when you don't want to be there in the first place.

    You can tell me that it's none of my business too but I'd really like to know why you felt so bad that you had to try and kill yourself, and that you're still thinking about it.

    Tam :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you can reach out and get some help from anyone starting here even. School can be very stressful letting someone know there a councillor they can get you support you need. You need to tell someone
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Millie

    I am glad you reached out for support here.
    Thank god you survived the attempt!
    I have to say though that you must be honest with your doctors if you want to recover from your depression,they cannot help you if they dont know whats going on. Please go back and see them and tell them the truth. It is for the best :hug:
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    hi mille i'm happy your attempt failed, i'm sorry your now left in this limbo of not knowing what to do. i know what its like to lie to get out of hospital, but truth will only get you better. its hard to be honest when your effected by depression. but it is the best way forward. i hope you rethink what you said to the doctors.
    here if you need to pm me anytime
  6. Mil

    Mil Member

    I had to email an assignment to a teacher. I couldn't finish it because I had two so I only handed in half. He emailed me back saying that I'm a disappointment... then I thought that there is no point in trying and that I may as well just die. There had been a couple of times that I'd almost done it though...

    And there are only a few people who I could talk to... actually not really. I hate talking about things.
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