What I don't understand about life

[nicesinging1]

Recently, I have been feeling extremely depressed and suicidal. Today, I had time to reflect on my life and remembered at least 4 different occasions I could have died. 1st was when I was 16. I almost drowned in pool and had help not arrived within 3 minute or so, I would have died. 2nd happened when I was riding bicycle. I was riding bicylce and didn't realizie car coming from sideways. It was another frightening experience. 3rd was when I was hospitalized for illness. Fortunately, it was treatble illness and I managed to survive. 4th was when I attempted suicide this past May. At the time, I had reached beyond my limit, truly felt sucide is the only way to go and attempted suicide. However, it failed for some reason.
I am 24 now and suffering mightily from severe depression and an addiction. I wonder, why I didn't die in one of those occasions. If one of the 4 occasions came to the fruition, I wouldn't even be here, feeling miserable, sad, depressed, tired of living yet another painful day. Yet, I read about young people who had great life going die in car crash on newspaper. It seems ironic life has to happen that way. I am fed up with my unendurable life and want to die but I keep managing to survive. Yet people with happy, enjoyable life end up dead tragically.
Life is truly remarkable and mysterious as this illustrates. I would like to hear ur insights. Do you believe everyone has a time designated by Heaven to live certain amount of time and die certain day? Do you think it is a luck of a draw how long, happy, healthy people live?

 

[Allo..]

"Do you believe everyone has a time designated by Heaven to live certain amount of time and die certain day? Do you think it is a luck of a draw how long, happy, healthy people live?"

I dont think we have a very certain time to die like say God says when your born you will die on the 16th of August 2009... But i do think its forseen.. not planned tho. Sometimes i see it as, the reason happy people die and sad people sometimes dont is because the sad people have a chance to find happiness and the happy people already have so its not their turn anymore.. Lol.. i dont know.. its all sort of.. even. probably. we just seem that its the great happy people that die. But now i think about it, how many newspapers are gonna say "damien died in a car accident today, a depressed, neglected boy that was molested when 5 years old and has attempted suicide 3 times"?? there not going to say that are they.. So really its just what we hear. i think its about an even percentage.

Thats just an idea or two.. we'll never really know.

 

[claycad]

Well, at this point in my life, I don't believe there is a heaven or hell or reincarnation, or that humans have a soul. I think life is pretty much happens by chance. Plus, you talk about young people with a bright future ahead of them dying...If you looked at is statistically, you would probably find that just as many young people with no future die as young people who have a bright future. Take myself for example, I too am 24, if I died in some freak accident or car wreck today, I can just imagine my parents on the news "Oh he wanted to be a graphic designer and was going to get his BFA, what a bright future he had ahead of him" now the fact is I have no true desire to be a graphic designer and could care less about getting a BFA, I have no bright future ahead of me, but I am sure someone like you would read about my death and say "such a shame, he had a bright future ahead of him" uh, I don't know if I am making any sense at this point, but I hope you get my drift.

Life is just series of chances, some make it a long time, and some don't. Death doesn't discriminate. As far as you saying you almost died 4 times in your life, I believe we almost die everyday. Who's to say your drowning accident didn't bring you any closer to death then me getting in my car and driving on a daily basis. Every time a 10 ton trailer truck is barreling behind me, it’s breaks could go out at any second and crush me. Trailer trucks get behind me and millions of others every day on the interstate, so who's to say that a trailer truck being behind us doesn't bring us anymore closer to death then anyone else's experience. Not saying it does or doesn't, just something to think about.

To breathe is to take a chance at death.

how many newspapers are gonna say "damien died in a car accident today, a depressed, neglected boy that was molested when 5 years old and has attempted suicide 3 times"?? there not going to say that are they.. So really its just what we hear. i think its about an even percentage.

You said it two sentences what took me two paragraphs, good job.