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what i have become? -ignore-

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by meagainstme, Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    so here i am yet another night wide awake alone. i could be out. but id rather not be around anyone. everyone hates me. they all judge me. how fat i am. how stupid i look. how annoying i am.
    and now ive been told none of you like me. the voice is telling me no one on SF likes me and judges me. maybe i shouldnt be here?

    my arm is stinging. and that is all i have!! i want to keep cutting, but i dont have the energy tonight.

    i just want someone to hold me and tell me it wont always be the same.
    i want to trust someone.
    i want to feel that everything is real!
    i cant work out what is feel anymore. so everything is fake to me.

    maybe my head is all i can trust now. cus i cant keep trying to work out everyone else when in the end they dont really like me.

    i feel bloody awful.
    i hate how everything i do ends up in this big pile of shit.
    everyone i meet leaves me and falls out of me and im left feeling like death and holding a grudge i cant get rid of

    i have so much pain in my mind that the pain is now physical in my whole body.

    im fed up.

    i want to go. right now. but im stuck in this world that my pain is all i have to hold onto. i want to sit here alone just letting my mind wander now. i cant be bothered to fight it. i cant be bothered to fake the smile. i cant be bothered to try and distract myself. im too exhausted. i just want to breathe. but i wont. this is me. ive come to terms with that.

    im sorry i post so much.
    ill just fuck off now.
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Please don't stop posting hun, I'm sure nobody here dislikes you :eek:hmy:

    I sure as hell don't dislike you! Me likes you! :hug: :hug: lots :smile:

    I'm sorry you feel like this :sad:

    I can't really think much right now, but I do wanna send you loads of hugs and tell you that people do care. I sure as hell do, and with me, many others as well.


    Please stay safe hun, we care.

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