I wish I could just die, then i wouldn't be a problem to anyone. I want outof it all, please make it all stop! All I ever do is cause problems for everyone. I don't have a life. The crisis team, my CPN and my GP have all left me to it. Don't they care? Can't they see how bad I am? Please God, do something for me, and make this my time to die, I'm so ugly, inside and out, nobody wants to care for me. I'm so stupid to think that anyone could've cared for me. How can I trust again? I can't make it through this alone. I cause my family problems. I'm a failure in everything that is important to me. The only way out of this is to die. I am sorry I caused my family sooo many problems, I wish like hell i had never been born! Why can't I talk to any of them? I don't want to burden them more than I already do. They are all soo busy and here I sit..... day in, day out, unable to leave the house. Unable to do anything cos of the lethargy, the apathy and without the will to live. Please somebody do something so I can't feel the hurt anymore. I hurt sooo bad. What can I do? I'm trying to watch Tv but, I don't know what I'm watching. I want to sleep but it just won't come. I'm so tired of hurting and being alone. I keep thinking of the alcohol and all the tablets I have upstairs but, I'm scared of failing again. My head hurts soooo much from crying. Nobody cares so, why should I. I cause problems for everyone I care about so, why should I stay. I'm a terrible person, nothing I do is right. I don't understand! I don't have any choice in the matter. To make everything better I have to die. I can't make it right by living. I'm so scared, I want out. I'm tired of making everyone so miserable. I don't want to go on. I can't stand this empty feeling I have. My head is a mess, the constant noise! The pounding hurts so much. I have no control over anything in my life. I'm breaking into pieces.