i wish i could just fucking die(if ya want to know y just read my recent posts on here...). i hate my life and things will never get better. they never have and they never will. my friends dont want me to die and they r worried about me... i went a few days ago to get meds cuz i was gonna OD on them soon but they were gross tasting so i threw them away. im thinking about getting a firearm sometime and doing the "job" sometime when im home but when my parents rnt home.firearms r so expensive thoug...im still looking for one...and that's if they'll even give me one... i live in missouri...i think i have to have a permit or something to get one...i am 19...my doc knows i am suicidal ans i am on effexor which makes the thoughts worse but he wont take me off of it. i haev no more happy thoiughts. not one. the only thing i have to live 4 is my friends.... one of my friends has offered 2 take me to the hospital. should i go?