I want to live, be free from pain from hurt and all things insane I want to smell the flowers feel the wind, feel the sun, feel alive again I want to break the chains that hold so tight the memories the past, leading me to break I want to break the silence that runs around in my head let go of the past and feel the future I want to laugh, and smile again I want to be me without a drink in my hand I want to have a clear mind without toxic waste destroying my mind my body and soul I want to just for one day like who I am like the person who doesn't need "this" friend. I want to forgive, those that done wrong, let them go so I can move on I want to be whole realise the child trapped inside realise the feelings, that i won't let myself feel I want to feel love I want to love I don't want to live in this hole anymore I want to be free I want to change but where does it start and where does it end. change is the unknown, but the place i'm heading is unknown, and has no second chance life has no second chances. one life, one day to live, one day, one minute, one drink, one pill is all it takes before the change that I want becomes something never to be reached. I need to change, I need it now, I need to do this 4 me and make something of myself leave it any longer, and i won't be around. its not fiction, its fact.. I've hit the button of self destruct, now I need to reach within and switch it off. I just don't have the strength to reach inside, I don't have the strength to continue fighting. Depression has me, and it won't let go, I have to break free somehow, and in this world I don't seem able to do that. RIP ME. please god, just hear my plea.