What if he doesn't come back??

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ThePhantomLady, Dec 13, 2015.

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  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    My LDR boyfriend in The Netherlands has been out of reach since the 27th. He had to take 2 weeks off work, his laptop broke ages ago and now his brother's did too... so I haven't heard a word from him.

    He's supposed to return to work tomorrow morning, and thus being able to come online so I can finally hear from him again.

    It's been 2 long weeks without him. I used to wake up to his messages... he's there when I go through stuff... usually... he hasn't been these weeks and I've really needed him. Needed his support and his stupid sense of humour that can always make me giggle through the worst tears...

    But... I'm starting to panic, I have a panic attack pending...

    What if he doesn't return?? What if he's left me like everyone else does? He tells me he's not looking for others and I spent the week up to he left telling him I wouldn't leave him and that I wasn't going to replace him...

    But seriously... why the hell is he even wasting his time on me? He could easily find someone both prettier and healthier. Someone a lot less complicated... someone close to him.

    People just always leave... I lost a lot of the friends I thought I had as a teenager... daddy left before I was born... and people just generally try to avoid me.

    And early in our relationship I broke his heart because of my abusive ex who couldn't leave me alone.

    What if he doesn't come back??

    I have all sorts of horrors in my head... What if his horrible ex has sent him another letter?


    What if something happened to him?? What if he got sick?? What if...


    Damnit. I wish I had a better confidence. He's the first man in my life who has ever treated me truly well.
     
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Maybe he wants to be with you. Maybe the bond he has with you is closer and stronger than with anyone else. There might be prettier people in the world but maybe he finds you to be the prettiest person in his world. He's not wasting his time on you, you are a nice person, he is cherishing it. You say you are complicated but nobody is perfect and he could feel at home, confortable with you and able to help you through these things like u say he does. I'm sorry he's not there right now. I'm sure he will be back soon. Try not to worry too much. Hope he contacts you soon and you feel better.
     
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  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I try so hard to understand that he likes me... I've just been left a million times... people always chose other's over me. I was never enough.
     
  4. Zaheer

    Zaheer Account Closed

    Did you tell him all this (how important he is for you)
     
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I did. I did so many times... and I hope he knows it too...
     
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