i feal the urge again. to take a seraded bladed, and to saw at my wrists. to let blood flow. i wan tto die. i hate me, i just want to die. i want to be noticed, i wan tto be told im ok, not to worry, not to fret. but even so, iw ant to die. i just dont want to feal this unedning sadness, and this pain. i wan tto feal loved, cared for, stable. i dotn want to be this ass hole, i dont want to be upset! i eithe rwant to be happy or dead. im done. i cant be happy. ive trided for too fucking long. pehaps il be better off dead.