Please don't tell me that it's never hopeless or that things will work out. That's simply not true. My life really is truly ruined and it's past the point of no return. I have struggled for years just trying to get by and be normal, and nothing has worked out for me. I've worked so hard and for absolutely nothing. I can't get a job. I don't have any family (or rather I do, but they are abusive sociopaths or live in other countries). I'm physically ill. I'm bald and hideous and self-conscious about it. I'm 31 years old and I've never, ever dated. I'll never be able to have a home again. A job. Any job I get won't be enough to take care of the mess I've made. Every option I have has an insurmountable obstacle ahead of it. I'm sick and no one can help. I want to leave the country, and I can't even do that without getting a job and saving money first. I'm applying for disability, but that's not enough. It's just not enough. I lost the fight. I really wanted a job, and I have done all I can to make myself a desirable job candidate. I got a master's degree in my field. I network. I have done mock interviews and I have had resume critiques. I have had multiple budget analyses. I have done volunteer work. I have taken jobs just to get by, only to be judged for it later. I hit the pavement for six years. The world doesn't want me to work. I'm done. I've been fighting so long because I really, really thought things would be okay, but it just sunk in recently that things aren't okay and they won't be. There is no logical way for any of this to work out. There is no possible happy ending. I feel as though there is a force greater than I am that it going out of its way to kill me. I'm thinking of checking myself in to be hospitalized, but the thought of another medical bill is enough to make me want to die. Even though I know I'll never pay it, just the thought of owing even more and being worth even less is just too much. I'm really sick right now with a lung infection and I can't go to the ER. I just can't. I don't care if I die, I just can't look at another bill. If you think that sounds silly, then you don't know how deep this goes. I've had numerous health problems since I was 10. Also, I have nowhere to put my belongings, and even things that are "replaceable" aren't replaceable for someone with no money. Worse still is that this is exactly what my horrible family set me up for. I never knew I was such an easy target. I'm just babbling, not even sure where I'm going with this. I really don't want people to tell me it will work out just because that's how things go. I'm not that naive.