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What if...it's all lies?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CGMAngel, Feb 2, 2013.

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  1. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    People tell me they care.

    But what if they don't?

    People tell me my life will get better.

    But what if it doesn't?

    People tell me I am a good, kind, caring person.

    But what if I'm not?

    People tell me I deserve love and to feel safe.

    But what if I don't?

    People tell me all the suffering and minefields of indifference, self-loathing, ridicule and rejection are not my fault.

    But what if they are?

    People tell me I make the world a better place.

    But what if I don't?

    People tell me to believe in myself.

    But what if I can't?

    People tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    But what if there is only darkness?

    People tell me there is water ahead.

    But what if the desert is all there is? What if the desert is all there ever will be?
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    That is a lot of what if's. What if the sun explodes tomorrow? But what if you stumble upon a pot of gold? Living in the what if's offers no future, but assuming "what if there is no getting better," you will never know unless you wait and try to find the wellness that you seek to be happy with. What if you give up right before everything this is wonderful takes place?
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I feel like this so much...but you just have to take a leap of faith...things may have been bad in the past, but that doesn't mean they always will. You aren't a bad person, and people do care...I tend to believe the worst too, because that's all I've seen. A lot of my negativity comes from depression, not sure if it's the same with you, but sometimes you just have to trust that things will be ok.
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I think its so hard. We can believe the thoughts in us that tell us all the negative or fear things. Or we can believe the good positive things that others say. I think that often the default is what we go for. And way too often the default is created from pain and fear from past experiences and messages. I would guess that what those people say about you is acurate. But I can understand why it is difficult to believe them. As for light at the end of the tunnel, maybe its better to believe it and maybe face the possibility of disspointment. Than to not believe it and live in hopelesness that may create enough of a veil of pain that you might well not be able to see the light when it is finally there. Just a thought.
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