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What If (triggering, be safe)

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Angie

Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#1
What if, at the age of 52, new memories surfaced?

I mean I've been dealing with the father, the cousin, but these new memories are of my mother.

What if everything I've ever denied is true.

Reminds me of that scene in Aliens where Newt is asking Ripley why people tell little kids there are no monsters, when there really are.

My parents were monsters. My mother was a monster, and I just want to crawl in a hole and die.
 

lightbeam

Antiquities Friend
#2
Well, we have to determine what to think when things like this happens.

If your mother was a part of the abuse, it's good to know. Especially when they have passed on. Now you can find closure.

Just make sure you stay grounded.
 

takencontrol

Well-Known Member
#3
im sorry these memories are haunting you just now, i know through experience its very difficult to deal with those memories, but i hope you can, you deserve to feel happier. :hug:
 

Julia-C

Well-Known Member
#4
texaskitty, my heart goes out to you. I know how messed up it feels when you find out that what you held as true has suddenly been proven false.

I'm sorry. :console:
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#9
As rough as it might be, that is a sign of being so much more healthy, because you would not take it on, if you could not...our defenses are there so we can survive...it is both understandable and brave
 

Angie

Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#10
Its like my brain is split in two. One holds one set of memories and the other another. It feels like pure insanity.
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#11
There is much written about crossing 'The Great Stream" or finding the truth or reason in your psychological space...note, I use the word truth, in respect to perceptions, not as an absolute, so there is no need to debate the word...what I mean is to see what you perceive happened that best reflects your truer self...for years, I ascribed my mother to be 'spaced out', when in actuality, she was as guilty and horrific to me as my father......I was so overwhelmed by this, at first, but then came to see, I had to, in order to not feel I had nothing...today, I hold everyone who abused me responsible for what they did, and I am trying to forgive them (the hardest thing I think I have had to do)...J
 

TBear

Antiquities Friend
#14
So sorry - I've been recovering new stuff too - at age 50

Your description is so on target like a wall between the different sets of memories....

Be kind to yourself - this is the way you got through

Take Care
TBear
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#15
I know it feels that way hun but you are not insane you are just remembering parts of past that was blocked out to protect that child inside Now you are older somehow the brain knows it is time you deal with that past so you can heal hun. i am abt your age and out of the blue memories come at me sometimes and with therapy one tries to unravel all the madness hun
I hope you and your therapist take it slow okay at your pace so it does not overwhelm you hun hugs to you
 
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