How could I possibly blame my niece or sister for not talking to me when I don't even like myself? I always end up hurting people, not on purpose, it just happens. I do not like the person that I am. I'm even starting to feel like I don't fit in here. I am not smart or witty or cool like the rest of you who can have a decent conversation and the lols. I just stand out like a sore thumb. I try my best to help people, I really do but I am really starting to despise myself. If I misunderstood something or get in the way or do something wrong, I feel so terrible about it. Sick of waking up every day to take meds, seems to be my only purpose in f'ing life, even the diabetes ones, just fucking sick of it now. I want to be normal and have a normal life but the problem is that I am far from normal. I know I have great friends here, better than I deserve, so, I am just sorry for being me.