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What if your death comforts others whom you love?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Cliche, Jan 24, 2008.

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  1. Cliche

    Cliche New Member

    Most of us who have gone through pain or depression know that it would go away after awhile.

    But what if my suicidal thoughts come from the depression caused by seeing those whom I love suffer due to my existence? Would it be a valid reason to die. *laughs faintly*

    Anyone here been through such a situation and successfully got through it? I am really open to any sort of advice. Sincerely, I really don't want to have such suicidal thoughts but at the same time can't stand living for another day.

    I've actually been suicidal since 10 and have came very close to death twice. (I won't even count the other minor attempts) And every time I fail, I end up hurting those who love me, who, ironically are the people I want to help through my death.

    It's like I am created "to not die from suicide." My last visit to the hospital (due to my last attempt) revealed that my arteries are all embedded deeply beneath my veins. (Which prevents any death from hemorrhage. And that is just one of the many "mechanisms" I have which prevents me from successfully suiciding.) Most of the doctors spent ages finding it. So anyway, my next suicide attempt would most likely fail as well, but despite knowing so, I can't help thinking about it. It's like it's inevitably the best solution to everything for everybody around me.

    I was told to consult certain psychiatrist, but I actually prefer forums where you don't need to talk or meet in person.
  2. thepeddlersdaughter

    thepeddlersdaughter New Member

    There would be no joy from your family living through your suicide, trust me! All it leaves is a legacy of despair, guilt and eternal loss in the souls of the people who love you. Suicide of a loved one is IMPOSSIBLE to move past...it is always there, eating away at the people left behind, always wondering where they went wrong and how they could have made it different. Even the attempts are damaging to them, more so than you can see...they live in a constant state of fear, worry and frustration. Yes, you are in pain...but guess what??? SO ARE THEY!!........
  3. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    The very fact that you care about the effect your death would have on others is a plus, and if you don't really want to die even though you constantly think about it would suggest that CBT is probably a good starting point to cope with your feelings.
  4. Interesting thread topic. My mother told me on Saturday, that she prays for my death. It is nice for me to be able to have absolute confirmation of my family's hatred of me.

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    Hi cliche

    First Welcome to the Forum
    Feel Free to post
    Ive my own reasons for suicide and thats not because of my loved ones
    Im in the fact; the opposite pattern
    For a long time the fact that my parents would grieve kept me from achieving it; not committing it
    As you said you are open to any expalnations; your posts made me think of something
    I know truths are never really told in books when it comes to suicide
    However, let me share my views on it

    During my philosophy class; i was due to read about Emile Durkheim; a French sociologist
    His greatest book is a sociologic and psychological study on suicide
    After studying suicide in a sociologic way - he was not a doctor- he found this; and I believe this is very interesting

    He classified Suicide profiles as such:

    -the altruist suicide

    The victim is integrated into a scheme of group values where a society kills itself for a cause; a group
    This can be verified by suicide bombings; japanese kamikazes or sects/
    Let me remind you that he wrote this 150 years ago and there was no such things as suicide bombings or terrorism; so I think its interesting

    In an extent view he definies this type of suicide as sacrifism for another person or a group of people
    This type of suicide is due to the facts that the group - family mostly- has put to much pressure on the person that is suffering
    then; on a masochist attempt to save himself; the victim thinks he ll be better dead than put his social scheme through all this

    This can be verified for suicides because of work pressure for ex

    - the egoism; selfish suicide
    Its characteristics are a very strong moral values scheme ; very low integration into a social system - friends or family-or society in itself and a very strong sense of personal responsability
    The social system isnt strong enough for the victim, to heal the suicidial thoughts and pains
    Morever, he underlines that society in itself isnt strong and efficient enough to decrease the responsabilty feeling and the guilt caused by moral weakness and failures

    - the atomic suicide results in a poor integration in society itself and an overall impression that moral values and answers brought by the society in itself has no sense at all
    Loneliness; personal confusion and torment bring suicidial thoughts and enhance them

    I think id share it with you
    To anyone whos interested in this book let me know
    Its very interesting and has thrown the foundation of modern psychiatry and Freud often mentionned it as an inspiring source to fight suicide
    The modern psychiatry didnt do then a good job with it but the original version written 150 ago is great achievement

    If this study is true, I believe you belong to the altruist profile

    Take care hun
    Pm me any time
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2008
  6. Resolutionary

    Resolutionary Member

    they will suffer more due to your suicide.

    (Source: personal experience)

  7. Your personal experience doesn't necessarily reflect everyone's personal experience. Some families are totally uncaring and uncompassionate.
  8. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    I have often wondered the same thing. I wonder it daily. I honestly have to weigh the options in my mind. On one hand, I know firsthand what that kind of loss feels like, and it's excruciatingly horrible to live through as a survivor. But on the other hand...

    There's someone like me. Who is a burden to everyone around me on a daily basis. My depression, health problems, misery. It affects my family sometimes every minute of every day. So weigh that against the shock and grief of loss. After time, it becomes tolerable. After time, people move on and are able to gain some distance and compartmentalize it in their mind to be able to cope. So if everyone's lives, mostly my mother and my husband's, would go on after me then would they not be better off?

    My husband could eventually find someone else who wouldn't be so broken. His family would embrace him again because I am the evil daughter-in-law that they hate and blame for everything.

    I feel like a huge, huge burden to everyone I love, and the weight of that kind of misery contributes greatly to my suicidal thoughts. No one wants to feel like their existence is bringing people down. So would being gone comfort them? No, definitely not right away. But eventually? Maybe. I wish I had the answer to that.
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Suicide will only bring eternal, deep rooted pain.

    If you prefer forums and they seem to help you, then that's a plus and a start.
  10. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    My girlfriend has said she wished she was with someone without a mental illness, someone who could go out more and do things, who'd shut up etcetcetc. So yes, I understand what you mean. I've thought what's the point of living when the one person I'm supposed to be close with doesn't want me around?

    I hear what you're going through. I have got 'through' such a situations (I'm much better now), mainly by distancing myself from her and family and people who cause me pain. I end up isolating myself and trying to cope without letting people know- I also try and use whatever resources are out there, therapists etc to help me.There are many awful therapists around, it sounds like you do want some help and it's worth it to keep looking, if your family can pay for private therapy if that's possible..
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2008
  11. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    People are better-off without me around.
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