I honestly think I'm a good for nothing. I'm not smart, athletic, musically talented, or attractive on the inside or out. I just feel like I'm wasting time in my life and I'll never find something that I love or that I'm good at. And I've tried. This has really developed on me to the point where I pretty much hate myself now. I used to be a Christian as well, but I ended up dropping my faith because I never found any comfort in it. I just don't know. It seems like if there was a god, he hasn't blessed me with any kind of talent I can use to make my way. i have yet to do anything productive with my life and I doubt I ever will. Lately I have been thinking about death. it doesn't scare me the way it used to. in fact, it doesn't really scare me at all anymore.. i'm not truly suicidal yet but honestly at this point I don't care if I die.