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What if..?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by laddypink, Jun 27, 2012.

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  1. laddypink

    laddypink Member


    I attemted suicide about 2 months ago. It was the first time that got this far. I really could have died... my heart stop beating for like 15 seconds. And since then, I'm always having those flashbacks... and dreaming about what could have been different if I hadn't call the emergency in time or not at all. I'm sick of this... I was sure I was getting better but last weekend it was worse then ever and so I was thinking, do we ever forget those memories? I know it's kind of new but I absolutely can't live no longer with that.

    What if I had call 911 2 minutes later? What if I had waited another week to have just a little more on me? What if someone was there in time to stop me before anything? What if I had talked to someone that day? And what if I did never tried to go that far? I have pletty of other question but it always came to the same point... do I want myself dead or alive... I never get to have the right answers for me...

    I know that what happens had happen and I can't changed it but I sure want to clear my head. Not having all those things in my head in the same time again. I'm starting over for the third time nursing in the fall. And I do hope to get till then! Without quitting because of my issues again..

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu cannot go with what if hun the past is the past you have to concentrate all your efforts nowon the future and you need to get therapy to get all those what ifs out of you mind ok and say what will be
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Clearly.... It was not your time! And I am very happy that you will have the opportunity to finish pursuing your nursing career.:) It doesn't matter how long it takes: who cares? As long as you get it done right, then you can and will be happy... Everybody has their own path, and until you complete yours, you won't fully understand why it's been this exact way, but it I think that it will turn out for the best! Good Luck.:)
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