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what I'm doing & sleeping soon

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mike_s, Aug 3, 2007.

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  1. mike_s

    mike_s New Member

    So I've decided I've had enough. But before I go I thought I'll take a 4 day drive on the the back roads of my beatiful country ( some african country) and visit some places of good memories and travel some roads i've always wanted. Partly because I'm trying to avoid my brother who's coming home today so he won't see my sorry face, and partly because I'm waiting for a package to arrive from overseas that will assist me in my end.

    Anyway, ended up taking this crazy detour through the mountains on a road really meant for off-road vehicles in my Opel (My country really has the best views), then started driving some gravel roads like a rally driver (always thought I'd make a good rally driver), when I got back on the tar road I drove as fast as my lovely little Opel could go, making sure I never had my seat belt on, so if I crashed I would die. Was temped all the time to just swerve into a tree or cliff (ps. not many other cars on our roads so not much danger to others.)

    Now I'm sitting in a restaurant with my laptop in the middle of nowwhere with cellphone reception just killing time with my sad face on. ( which is much better than my anxious face ) Waitress looks like she feels sorry for me which is much better than her being scared of me.

    anyway this is hopefully the last bit of "fun" I'll have till my long sleep. Looking forward to that sleep.

    Just thought I'd share, and killing time.
  2. mike_s

    mike_s New Member

    LOL. waitress just asked me if I'm fine. I said yes. LOL
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    That was a heartfelt thread, im so sorry thast you are feeling able to take in that wonderful country and a part of you seems to be enjoying it yet you still want to leave?
    Is this not a battle worth fighting i can sense a little hope there a little part that could win the battle agsainst this sad face and whats happening to you.
    It would be a long roasd but one with the right help and support i think you could travel along please reconsider you sound a really nice person. It would be such a waste and im sure you would be sadly missed TC hun pm anytime:sad:
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