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What im going through currently.

#1
Hello its me summer again.. i was too scared to come out and say this because well i love my family to death but i hate what they do and i want to just get this off my chest.. So if i ever caused any confusion with my recent posts i will calmly explain what is going on currently.. because i have seem to have been freaking out in my other posts.. in my past posts when i first came to this forum, i explained i was being bullied in elementary school for the way i looked and that i had a temper problem well around the time that i was being bullied, My grandparents stopped spanking me and began to show signs of abusive behavior..

They would hit me (with belts and their bare hands) sometimes and they would leave marks like bruises and red marks but they would go away afterward.. this all started when i was either 8, 9 or 10 they stopped spanking me. this one time around those ages, my grandpa and i were arguing and he grabbed both of my arms and lifted and practically pushed me on the bed hurting my back.. and he bit my nose one time over something i didn't do followed by my grandma hitting my back for it and yelling at me.. My grandma hits me with belts for stupid reasons and leave red marks but they go away afterward.. my grandpa threatens to hit me over stupid reasons too..

I heard there are different kinds of abuse not just psychical i heard there's emotional, verbal etc. my aunt emotionally and verbally does it by calling me names and saying horrible stuff about me calling me "fake bitch" "narcissist" "ugly stupid bitch" or that i have body dysmorphia she would call me a slut she would just do so much horrible things to me making me self harm because of it... shes been doing it for years...


I finally came out and spoke to a teacher about it and i told him not to report anything to cps or police or athourities... i JUST wanted a therapist to talk to about this. about how i feel. instead he calls cps and i was freaking out and having a panic attack that i was going to get taken away from my family. yes they hurt me yes they do terrible things but i love them to death if i got taken away from my family i would have nowhere else to go but to a stranger who i never met at all... and i dont want to be with a stranger i want to be with blood. with family. with places that are familiar to me...

But the social service lady came and i talked to her and i just lied and told her everything was fine when really im hurting... she must have not believed me and now the police are involved in the situation. and my aunt would not stop calling me names, saying horrible things about me she told me i was useless and that my family would be better off without me and that she didnt love me... she makes me so insecure about myself and makes me want to die.. and at the least just want comfort or advice... i explained this best as i could and hope to get some help out of this.. i just dont want to say anything to any police, cps, social services because im afraid of what would happen.. life is seriously stressful and i am going through alot right now and i just need comfort... words of strength or anything at all... just wanted to say this so you guys would understand whats going on better..


~ Summer
 
#3
Hello its me summer again.. i was too scared to come out and say this because well i love my family to death but i hate what they do and i want to just get this off my chest.. So if i ever caused any confusion with my recent posts i will calmly explain what is going on currently.. because i have seem to have been freaking out in my other posts.. in my past posts when i first came to this forum, i explained i was being bullied in elementary school for the way i looked and that i had a temper problem well around the time that i was being bullied, My grandparents stopped spanking me and began to show signs of abusive behavior..

They would hit me (with belts and their bare hands) sometimes and they would leave marks like bruises and red marks but they would go away afterward.. this all started when i was either 8, 9 or 10 they stopped spanking me. this one time around those ages, my grandpa and i were arguing and he grabbed both of my arms and lifted and practically pushed me on the bed hurting my back.. and he bit my nose one time over something i didn't do followed by my grandma hitting my back for it and yelling at me.. My grandma hits me with belts for stupid reasons and leave red marks but they go away afterward.. my grandpa threatens to hit me over stupid reasons too..

I heard there are different kinds of abuse not just psychical i heard there's emotional, verbal etc. my aunt emotionally and verbally does it by calling me names and saying horrible stuff about me calling me "fake bitch" "narcissist" "ugly stupid bitch" or that i have body dysmorphia she would call me a slut she would just do so much horrible things to me making me self harm because of it... shes been doing it for years...


I finally came out and spoke to a teacher about it and i told him not to report anything to cps or police or athourities... i JUST wanted a therapist to talk to about this. about how i feel. instead he calls cps and i was freaking out and having a panic attack that i was going to get taken away from my family. yes they hurt me yes they do terrible things but i love them to death if i got taken away from my family i would have nowhere else to go but to a stranger who i never met at all... and i dont want to be with a stranger i want to be with blood. with family. with places that are familiar to me...

But the social service lady came and i talked to her and i just lied and told her everything was fine when really im hurting... she must have not believed me and now the police are involved in the situation. and my aunt would not stop calling me names, saying horrible things about me she told me i was useless and that my family would be better off without me and that she didnt love me... she makes me so insecure about myself and makes me want to die.. and at the least just want comfort or advice... i explained this best as i could and hope to get some help out of this.. i just dont want to say anything to any police, cps, social services because im afraid of what would happen.. life is seriously stressful and i am going through alot right now and i just need comfort... words of strength or anything at all... just wanted to say this so you guys would understand whats going on better..


~ Summer
I'm so sorry to hear that, that's absolutely horrible that you've had to go through that.

You 100% did the right thing by telling a teacher, and although you may not see it right now, they did the right thing by involving the police. You should be honest with the social service lady, as it won't remove all your family from you. Only those who have abused you and what you have described is absolutely abusive behaviour.

She can help you, please accept that help, as no one should have to go through that kind of behaviour from their own family. That is unacceptable.
 

MarvelFan

Vanity of Vanities
#4
Hello its me summer again.. i was too scared to come out and say this because well i love my family to death but i hate what they do and i want to just get this off my chest.. So if i ever caused any confusion with my recent posts i will calmly explain what is going on currently.. because i have seem to have been freaking out in my other posts.. in my past posts when i first came to this forum, i explained i was being bullied in elementary school for the way i looked and that i had a temper problem well around the time that i was being bullied, My grandparents stopped spanking me and began to show signs of abusive behavior..

They would hit me (with belts and their bare hands) sometimes and they would leave marks like bruises and red marks but they would go away afterward.. this all started when i was either 8, 9 or 10 they stopped spanking me. this one time around those ages, my grandpa and i were arguing and he grabbed both of my arms and lifted and practically pushed me on the bed hurting my back.. and he bit my nose one time over something i didn't do followed by my grandma hitting my back for it and yelling at me.. My grandma hits me with belts for stupid reasons and leave red marks but they go away afterward.. my grandpa threatens to hit me over stupid reasons too..

I heard there are different kinds of abuse not just psychical i heard there's emotional, verbal etc. my aunt emotionally and verbally does it by calling me names and saying horrible stuff about me calling me "fake bitch" "narcissist" "ugly stupid bitch" or that i have body dysmorphia she would call me a slut she would just do so much horrible things to me making me self harm because of it... shes been doing it for years...


I finally came out and spoke to a teacher about it and i told him not to report anything to cps or police or athourities... i JUST wanted a therapist to talk to about this. about how i feel. instead he calls cps and i was freaking out and having a panic attack that i was going to get taken away from my family. yes they hurt me yes they do terrible things but i love them to death if i got taken away from my family i would have nowhere else to go but to a stranger who i never met at all... and i dont want to be with a stranger i want to be with blood. with family. with places that are familiar to me...

But the social service lady came and i talked to her and i just lied and told her everything was fine when really im hurting... she must have not believed me and now the police are involved in the situation. and my aunt would not stop calling me names, saying horrible things about me she told me i was useless and that my family would be better off without me and that she didnt love me... she makes me so insecure about myself and makes me want to die.. and at the least just want comfort or advice... i explained this best as i could and hope to get some help out of this.. i just dont want to say anything to any police, cps, social services because im afraid of what would happen.. life is seriously stressful and i am going through alot right now and i just need comfort... words of strength or anything at all... just wanted to say this so you guys would understand whats going on better..


~ Summer
Well words of strength I have but it can be 2 fold in time for different people I hope and believe you will never be like those people but sometimes in the future I myself have just a little bit of them because it rubs off on me slightly getting older

I was in that place as a kid you said physical abuse and verbal abuse the other is mental abuse I had all 3 which I believe to me mental abuse is the worst of all kinds of abuse I been through.

For me mental abuse is when a person especially a parent indoctrinate's and also brainwashes their child to believe the parents thoughts only and the child of that persons thoughts mean nothing anything that is true or not true to the child of that person is made either true or false only by the parent.

So basically the child now a person growing up has no mind of their own only the parents or grandparents mindset. That is a not a good place to be. It is how I am now but I am trying to be my own person now maybe worse than a animal that was caged for its life,

I was told when I can go to the bathroom, when I can eat, when I can smile, when I can laugh and when its time for me to suffer with them,
 
#5
Everything at the moment is stressing me out, making me angry i've been wanting to just hurt myself for days because of it. And it really makes me angry that people think i'll "just get over it" when my family is tormenting me mentally, physically. threatening me saying horrible things about me. i just want to leave home because they hit me, we constantly argue and everything's all my fault i swear.. i wish things would change..
 
#6
My head is not ok right now but I wanted to tell you I also lied to the social worker . I don’t remember how old I was maybe 13:14/15

I lied
I was being sexually abused
Groomed
A paedophile
Except I didn’t understand it all
I wanted her to help me but at the same time was ashamed

now I am 42 and fuxked up from all the trauma after and a lifetime of choosing abusive relationships and never getting out until they’ve broken me and then when I finally did I go into another after another

I presume you’re young

I wish I could go back
I wish I had trusted someone to help me

I was also scared and threatened with consequences for me him and my family

I’m sad for you
You are trauma bonded like me

and I still am in these relationships
You have your whole life to get better
And out this and Try heal

x
 

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