What is attractive to gay men?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Kayetan, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I have always considered myself straight, but I've never actually been interested in either gender. The reason for my question began in highschool. Throughout 9th grade, there was junior that always tried to touch me. For weeks I thought he was just another jerk trying to mess with me, until I saw him making out with another man in the bathroom. After that, there have been multiple known gays that have hit on me throughout the other highschool years. 7 total, I didn't even know them personally. But before highschool let out, a close friend admitted to me that he was gay, and he wanted to date me. Then just a few weeks ago, another friend did the same thing. This has me confused and curious. I don't consider myself good-looking, and it can't be my personality, since I'm not expressive, and didn't even know the other 7 males. Why are these men attracted to me? Should I be experimenting with this?
  2. No offense to women in general, but there seems to be alot of very hurt men who are tired of manipulative, mind-game playing women in this world. Alot of women think that they can keep on getting away with hurting men's emotions, because they think that men are so desperate to have sex with a woman, that men will put up with it, or cheat with another woman. Alot of men aren't cheating anymore. They are giving up on women. Either they purchase elaborate sex toys, such as the real doll, or they experiment with other men, knowing it is less likely another man will emotionally hurt them. Not to say that another man won't hurt them, though it is less likely to occur, especially if the other man has been hurt in the past by women also.

    In your situation, Kayetan, I'm not surprised that so many guys are flirting with you. I doubt all of them are totally gay either. Most likely, many of them are fed up with women and are seeking for something less destructive to their emotional well-being. There are alot of men who want love, not just sex, and apparently, are wanting to find it with you. Don't be discouraged. It is complimentary that you are being flirted with by these guys. Remember, they aren't just a gender, they are people who want love. The issue now is, what you want. If you want love and can be comfortable being with guys, then go for it. If you can only see yourself with a woman, then take the chance with women, and hopefully you won't be hurt. There are good women in this world, just beware of the evilness.
  3. Lavendere

    Lavendere Active Member

    You definitely have a point there bp. What ever makes you feel comfortable is best.
  4. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I'm not comfortable with people in general. Even before I became an introvert, I never had a preference of male or female, no interest. But I've never experienced a relationship before, so I don't know what's there. With these offers for dates, I know I can begin one, but I'm unsure of how to act in these situations. I mostly live as a stoic, I think based on logic, I don't have emotional experience, and that fact makes me nervous around others. I thought it was odd though about these men hitting on me.
  5. nunziosoprano

    nunziosoprano Member

    From personal experience I noticed that many gay men will fuck anything with a dick. The reason I say that is because even though I put the "u" in ugly I have had gay men show interest in me in the past more than once. Yet NEVER has somebody of the opposite sex ever showed any interest in me. It seems that non heteros care less about physical looks than hetero people do which is why I have seen my fare share of mismatched gay couples here in San Francisco like for example a manly butch dyke that is so ugly that you want to put a bag over her face with a very pretty attractive lipstick lesbian girlfriend that would have most men drooling.
  6. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    maybe they think you are gay....?
  7. nunziosoprano

    nunziosoprano Member

    Yeah they probably did but still they could do much better than me. They must have been very desperate to get laid to the point where they lowered their standards significantly when looking for a sex partner. Anybody who would want to have sex with me must be either very desperate to get laid that they will take anything or they must be blind.
  8. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    May be the fact you are unemotional is what these other guys find attractive !

    If you are comfortable with the idea od being with another man, or women then the choice is your to make if you wish to take it further, relationships are always double edged swords, but in my limited experience always worth the risk, even if they don't work out.

    Being a forever single gay man, thats spent a long time running away from such things, then male or female, I would gladly give up years of my life for a chance at a worthwhile relationship, however, short or long it may last, however sexual or platonic it turned out.

    Forever is long time, using logic for a guide, can be a verry hard route to follow, not one I would recommend.
  9. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I have been called gay many times because these men have been around me.

    I'm not entirely sure I want a relationship at this time. I've been distancing myself from others. On the other hand, I'm always lonely, and want someone close. I'm not sure what to do.
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    In all fairness the world is full of alot of asshole men who only want one thing from women...sex. They play mind games, fuck with women's head just to get in their pants. So in all fairness you can't just say women are evil and manipulative. There are alot of manipulative, evil, scum sucking, guys in the world just lookin' for a piece of ass. Maybe if ppl were more compassionate it wouldn't be life that.
  11. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    Even if you are lonely, if you are not sexually attracted to these men in any way then their is no way a romantic relationship could work. But if you are attracted, or are not sure if you are attracted to them it may be an avenue you want to explore or at least consider, that is if a romantic relationship is something you want in your life. In a situation like this, your body should be able to give you some indication as to what to do.

  12. http://suicideforum.com/showthread.php?p=319643&posted=1#post319643
  13. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    A lot has happened over the past few weeks. In short, I think I might be gay. I have never been attracted to either sex, but I would still be turned on by females, or turned off by hearing about gay events. Now it's different. I don't feel anything for girls, sometimes they disgust me. I haven't seen a guy that has turned me on, but gay literature is now appealing to me. I'm confused, and even more depressed now.
  14. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I think you're probably thinking that these guys must be flirting with you because they "sense something". Right?

    Actually, it's funny how this works. For some reason, a lot of gay guys are more attracted to straight men than they are other gay guys. That may sound completely ridiculous but I've spent some time on some gay forums and it's absolutely true. I've seen a bunch of posts in gay forums by guys wondering how they can get a straight guy to notice them or be attracted to them.

    Now you would think that gay guys would be attracted to effeminate guys. But a lot of gay men are much more attracted to rugged masculinity or any characteristic that is overtly masculine. There's a common misconception that gays are only attracted to feminine guys. They can have the other gay guys all they want. What they really want is what they can't have. It's simple human nature.

    If you really don't think you're gay or bi, I wouldn't worry about it.

    By the way, this isn't intended to be offensive to any gay guys reading. I myself am bi. I'm just saying this is what I've noticed.
  15. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I'm just not sure anymore. As I posted before, I think I might be gay. These events had me questioning myself, and now I'm just completely confused.
  16. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I think you'll know for sure in time. There's no rush to determine your sexuality. Just relax and give it some time. It can be confusing. Hell, at 34, there are still aspects that confuse me.
  17. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    Thanks random, youve been a big help. For now I'm declaring myself asexual, if I lean one way, fine. I find it easier to view it as that, not looking for/at anyone, but open to either. It's hard to explain, and it sounds closer to bi, but it makes sense to me.
  18. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    my advice is- don't think about some ones sex, think about what their true intentions are. Do they want to be with you or do they want to just use you for a fucking? I try to only judge people based on personality, I like men, as friends, but I am not attracted to them in any way sexually. If I were id have no problem saying it. Maybe you are more attractive than you think?
  19. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    I doubt that, I consider myself ugly. I've never gotten compliments(family doesn't count) on my looks before, but I really don't know. As for seeing people as they are, I usually do that, it's just the shock of the matter I guess. It bothers(ed) me so much that I was afraid to even be around other men(not that I've ever really been comfortable with anyone to begin with). It just made me feel even farther from society. I've never fit in, and not being comfortable asking for help and advice, I became even more depressed than I already am.
  20. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Are you quite certain that these feelings toward the same sex might not just be you responding positively to the flattery of being desired? In other words, if these were women who were persuing you, would you have the same reaction? Just a thought...