when I self harm its usually for relief from a built up combo of Anger, stress, frustration, anxiety, depression and fear. Lately I haven't even been getting the relief I'm in need of and end up breaking down, sometimes reverting back to the mindset of a child blaming myself for things I think I know aren't true. My mum always picks me up or atleast lays next to me until i'm "better". However, I am getting frustrated as I so loved that feeling.. the release.. the fact I could put myself back together and patch up that 'fuck it, It doesn't bother me' face and stop crying. I just don't understand what's wrong with me and why one of the few things that helped me when I reach that boiling point is fading away. Any ideas as to why Its suddenly making me feel worse rather than better? I don't get cravings, but I am begining to fantasize about how it felt before.. every belt or leash or rope makes me think about it.