What is it like not feeling pain or not just emotional pain but real pain that consumes my intier body, head to toe. What is it like not to feel that pain. Its all I know and I need to know before I die because I cant live with it any more. Most of all im tierd because every night my brain tells my body to stop every thing, breathing my heart then I come back and every time I wish I would just stay dead. Did you know that my last three vacations I have gotten sick and on my last one I got so sick that I had to go to the hospital for 3 days. Im just so tierd of feeling bad. Every week I get sick and im tierd I cant do it any more and thats why im going to kill my self I know some one will say "go to a doctor" and I do I go to 3 a week trying to figure out whats wrong with me and theres "what about your friends" well some of my friends will be puset for a while then in a few month's they will forget I was ever alive. "what about your family" I hate them. so I will be dead soon some one while im still alive. cya im going to die in 3 weeks so cya and yes I have pland this for a very long time so I will only need one try. if some one could tell me what its like the pain I do that would be great.