what is it you NEED or WANT personally to recover or be cured?
- Thread starter asura nirosuki
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Full recovery? Cured?
A different brain with a different personality. I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can and am willing to do whatever my doc and pdoc suggest. So far the realistic goal is just to keep stable, to function. I have no hope of complete recovery. It is unlikely that ideal living or financial or social circumstances would result in more positive outcome for me.
A different brain with a different personality. I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can and am willing to do whatever my doc and pdoc suggest. So far the realistic goal is just to keep stable, to function. I have no hope of complete recovery. It is unlikely that ideal living or financial or social circumstances would result in more positive outcome for me.
Honestly if I could win $500,000 or more- I wouldn't have to kill myself because then I could get away from my mom (It's everyday h*ll living with her and it's to worrisome for me to deal with) and buy a townhome. I do have depression and think about suicide alot but I know a lot of it is situational for me for sure- living with my mom intensifies my depression and suicide thoughts by 100. So yea for me money would solve alot of my problems.
Honestly, I just despise living. I'm nihilistic, and constantly feel like I"m forcing myself to care about the world and the creatures in it. For me to be happy, the laws of the universe themselves would have to be changed.
If there was anything to resemble a realistic remedy for me, it would the removal of my tinnitus symptoms. At least then I could maintain some kind of mental tranquility..
If there was anything to resemble a realistic remedy for me, it would the removal of my tinnitus symptoms. At least then I could maintain some kind of mental tranquility..
I need to be touched. I need to feel my body as something real. I need to feel like a person.
Without being touched, I can't touch. I can look, I can want, but I can't cross the air gap.
Without being touched, my body does not feel anchored to the moment. I can't be IN the moment. This means that nothing gives me pleasure.
Without being touched, I can't touch. I can look, I can want, but I can't cross the air gap.
Without being touched, my body does not feel anchored to the moment. I can't be IN the moment. This means that nothing gives me pleasure.
to be honest I used to believe in true love and I thought I had it as well. but dreams never last forever and as soon as I realized that the one thing I wanted most did not exist and was just something you would see in a fiction novel I died inside and just fell apart. so now I have no idea what I am searching for yet I still continue to search for something I know does not exist.
Well, first, the clock would need to roll back to when I was a baby so that I could get a fresh start. Then I'd need a whole bunch of stuff:
-low anxiety
-a reasonable independent streak
-a genius level IQ
-to excel at either hockey or baseball (or both. That'd be nicer)
-$ 1 million
-a job that pays extremely well and affords enough free time to learn things
-Martial arts training
-A Personal Trainer
-Real Life Stress Training
-AFF Skydiving lessons
-Wilderness Training
-Climbing Lessons
-First Aid Training
-and an attractive, generous, smart woman who loves me and is proud to be with me and only me--and means it when she says it
...so yeah, I'm screwed.
-low anxiety
-a reasonable independent streak
-a genius level IQ
-to excel at either hockey or baseball (or both. That'd be nicer)
-$ 1 million
-a job that pays extremely well and affords enough free time to learn things
-Martial arts training
-A Personal Trainer
-Real Life Stress Training
-AFF Skydiving lessons
-Wilderness Training
-Climbing Lessons
-First Aid Training
-and an attractive, generous, smart woman who loves me and is proud to be with me and only me--and means it when she says it
...so yeah, I'm screwed.
I need courage. Courage to change. Courage to get out of bed, open the curtains and feel the sun burning on my skin without having to feel depressed. I need a new pair of eyes so I could see beauty in the world again. And I need strength to still search for that beauty no matter how much ugliness I bump into. I wish I could know how to learn from my mistakes and stop making them over and over again. I wish I could be happy with the simplicity of life. To stop wanting more.
I want to do something without feeing like I'm going to fail. I want confidence in myself, and to love myself. I want to be able to socialize and to talk to people. And I want to do something I'm passionate about so I have a reason to get up everyday. And I want someone who I love and loves me back.
good friends that enjoy being around me and dont judge me, Im sick of having to constantly "grind" just to get the "privelige" to hang out with someone, and Im sick of having people say that they care and wanna help but then turn around and tell me that Im wrong and that apparenty I dont have the right to be depressed
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