what is it?

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by homelessmk, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. homelessmk

    homelessmk Active Member

    i am trying to explain to my friends why i hate my dad... but i don't know if i hate him or not. i don' tknow if what he does can be considered emotional abuse or not... i am never good enough for him. he loves the dog better than he loves me. he is constantly talking about how i need to lose weight or gain weight. my clothes are too provocative (they aren't at all. no cleavage, not low cut, not see through, nothing.) how my grades aren't good enough. my room isn't clean enough. and he constantly contradicts himself so i don't know what to do. he will tell me that it's not my responsibility to correct my younger brothers because i'm not their parent, yet if they do anything wrong and i'm anywhere near them, it's my fault because i didn't tell them not to do it. tonight at dinner i asked my mom to pass something and he freaked out and said that it would be passed around if i just waited. so then the other thing that i wanted, i sat there waiting for it to come around the table, just like he said. and then he got mad because i wasn't speaking up for myself and saying what i wanted. i can't win! i can't be perfect, and i feel like he doesn't even care. my pastor asked me "when was the last time he told you that you were beautiful or that you were his princess?" and i couldn't think of a time ever that he had said that.. i know that doesn't qualify as emotional abuse... but i am trying to explain to my friends why i can't stand to be around him and i don't know how.. i don't even know how to explain all the stuff he does. whenever he enters a room it gets tense, and none of my little brothers want to be around him. i can't stand it! please help me somehow... give me some words so i can know what's going on....
     
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    It does sound like a bad situation. You could ask him what he wants out of you..how he wants you to behave and what he thinks would be appropriate for you to wear etc. It might make things easier for you as long as you are still at home. And if you are still having problems with him maybe you could sit down with your parents and explain to them how you feel and everything.
     
  3. homelessmk

    homelessmk Active Member

    i feel like if i explain it to him it will just make it worse... and i'm leaving for college in about a week.... so i won't have to deal with him any more until next summer and i'm hoping i might be good enough for him then... i don't know... i just don't even know how to explain what he does that makes me dislike him.... i mean... i'm supposed to love him because he's my dad... my pastor told me to sit down and talk with him... but i guess i'm just way too scared....
     
  4. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Tell your friends exactly that, exactly what you told us. That should help them understand? Just know that none of it is your fault, no matter what he says. I believe this is a form of emotional abuse, too. It's a way to drive somebody schitzophrenic. It's very rare, and you obviously aren't, but if it's a way to cause that, then I'd definately consider it emotianl abuse.
     
  5. homelessmk

    homelessmk Active Member

    thank you! for the longest time i felt so unjustified because i just couldn't put words to any of this... i feel like i'm finally starting to realize that it isn't right. hopefully our relationship will get better now that i'm at college.. i can only hope anyway.
     
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