This may have been posted before, so forgive me if it has. I can see that there are many people on this forum who, like myself, seem quite desperate to end their suffering and leave this world. I can see that people struggle with many issues around this, including method, timing, motivation, family and religion. I was just wondering, because it is a question I ask myself all the time - what is stopping you? (Please don't read this as an attempt in any way to encourage anyone to kill themselves). I've been depressed and suicidal for nearly 40 years. I would not feel particularly guilty about killing myself, and I do not hold the opinion that suicide is selfish. I have no children or other dependents. Both of my parents have now died. I have just one sister who doesn't really like me. I know for myself that I'm scared of failing and being in some way brain damaged or injured and unable to try again. I know that I don't have the exact things I need to complete the task, and these are difficult to obtain. I think this might be the main thing stopping me. However, I have another possible method in mind. I know that I'd like all my affairs in order, but I don't have the motivation to do that. I know that I have a tiny bit of my will to live left, that I wish would GO AWAY. I must admit to envying people who don't have any reluctance. What's it like for you?