What is life without relationships?

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#1
I've always been lonely. I'll always be lonely. Last year, reaching the age of 34 and still not knowing what it's like to be in a truly mutually loving relationship, was so awful. Now I'm 35 and, if anything, it's worse. I see couples all around me. Many people my age experienced relationships so young they now have teenaged kids.

I don't have friends, either. I am honestly so confused by what "friendship" even means or feels like.

I did have one "relationship", but it's not the same anymore. I don't think we're even really friends. It's so cruel. It's like I was given a partial glimpse so I could see and feel how wonderful a relationship could be, then it was taken away. Now not only am I still alone, but now I also know what I'm missing.

I don't even want to try anymore. Literally decades of trying has done nothing but crushed me with disappointment over and over and over.

People only want me for what I can do for them, then they toss me asside again. And why shouldn't they? All of them have friends, families, and loving relationships. They don't need or want me.

What is the point of living without relationships or love? I sob alone in my bed several times a week. I have a new doctor and new medications and a new counselor, but how are any of those going to help when all of my problems stem from the crushing loneliness? No amount of pills or counseling can fix it.

I don't want to live in loneliness anymore. But I can't get out. I feel trapped and I want to die.
 

Katejohsonrk800

Well-Known Member
#2
I'm sorry you feel this way, Racheliz. It's absolutely awful when you feel like people just use you. No one deserves to feel that, including you. You are so strong for going through so much of this alone, and I'm sorry that you had to go through it alone. I just want you to know that the people at sf are here to support you. We love you <3 <3 <3
 

Were all together

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Hello Racheliz, you know how many people on this forum, are just like you? A lot. What makes it that you cant go out and find someone? Do you feel like you're a failure? Shy? I found when searching for love, you never find it. It always shows up when you least expect it. Maybe, just try walking in the park? Even just shopping? As far as starting up a conversation, just say whatever you like. Talk about the weather, etc.. what I find is, people say they cant find anyone. But, they never do anything about it. Just a simple hello to someone, may be your future mate.
 

tlarson

Well-Known Member
#4
I feel your pain.I to am alone at age 55.I once had what I thought was a loving relationship,engaged,beautiful child and 2 stepchildren then she left.Daughter grown up and moved out.Lost fiance and 2 stepchildren,raised daughter on my own.Remember,although it may not feel this way you r still young with your whole life ahead of you.Keep trying,you will find someone.And always remember you are a whole person all by yourself,made that way by the creator of everything.
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#5
I'm sorry you feel this way, Racheliz. It's absolutely awful when you feel like people just use you. No one deserves to feel that, including you. You are so strong for going through so much of this alone, and I'm sorry that you had to go through it alone. I just want you to know that the people at sf are here to support you. We love you <3 <3 <3
Thank you so much for your kindness. I wish I could give you and a lot of other people on here some big hugs. You're right about SF members. They all understand what I go through, and they never give up on me or get impatient with me. Sending you cyberspace hugs!
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#6
Hello Racheliz, you know how many people on this forum, are just like you? A lot. What makes it that you cant go out and find someone? Do you feel like you're a failure? Shy? I found when searching for love, you never find it. It always shows up when you least expect it. Maybe, just try walking in the park? Even just shopping? As far as starting up a conversation, just say whatever you like. Talk about the weather, etc.. what I find is, people say they cant find anyone. But, they never do anything about it. Just a simple hello to someone, may be your future mate.
Thank you so much. Yes, I hadn't realized how many people were so lonely before I joined SF.

As for your questions, I'm an introvert but not shy. I do feel like a failure, but only because of my lack of close relationships.

I have been going out and doing things. Grocery shopping, of course, and things like hiking and walks at the park. I even will eat out alone sometimes. And I'm in a couple of group activities. I'm friendly and smile a lot (even when I don't feel like it). I'm one of those people who will talk to you while pumping gas or at the grocery store. So I'm confused and discouraged at my inability to hit it off with anyone.
 

Were all together

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#7
Thank you so much. Yes, I hadn't realized how many people were so lonely before I joined SF.

As for your questions, I'm an introvert but not shy. I do feel like a failure, but only because of my lack of close relationships.

I have been going out and doing things. Grocery shopping, of course, and things like hiking and walks at the park. I even will eat out alone sometimes. And I'm in a couple of group activities. I'm friendly and smile a lot (even when I don't feel like it). I'm one of those people who will talk to you while pumping gas or at the grocery store. So I'm confused and discouraged at my inability to hit it off with anyone.
Seems like you're doing well. Don't worry, I think you'll find someone in time.
 

Katejohsonrk800

Well-Known Member
#8
Thank you so much for your kindness. I wish I could give you and a lot of other people on here some big hugs. You're right about SF members. They all understand what I go through, and they never give up on me or get impatient with me. Sending you cyberspace hugs!
We will always be here for you, Racheliz :) I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this <3
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#9
I feel your pain.I to am alone at age 55.I once had what I thought was a loving relationship,engaged,beautiful child and 2 stepchildren then she left.Daughter grown up and moved out.Lost fiance and 2 stepchildren,raised daughter on my own.Remember,although it may not feel this way you r still young with your whole life ahead of you.Keep trying,you will find someone.And always remember you are a whole person all by yourself,made that way by the creator of everything.
Thank you for your understanding. I'm sorry you, also experience loneliness. It's amazing you raised your daughter by yourself; it's not easy to be a single parent, whether mom or dad!

I don't feel young anymore. I'm so tired, getting a few gray hairs, a couple of achy joints, etc. And I feel like it's so abnormal for me to be in my mid thirties and not really understand relationships, whether romantic or platonic.

I know I'm a complete person alone, though thank you for reminding me. I just don't want to spend my whole life missing out on the things that make life worth living: someone who prefers to be with me over anyone else. I don't see it happening; I've gone beyond so-so friends only once, it took me over thirty years to finally get there, and it lasted maybe a year.
 

tlarson

Well-Known Member
#10
I was 34 when I met my fiance and 36 when my daughter was born.You never know what and when life brings you things,at least that is how I keep hanging on.I to long for a lasting relationship.Take care and live in the moment,it is all we have.
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#11
I was 34 when I met my fiance and 36 when my daughter was born.You never know what and when life brings you things,at least that is how I keep hanging on.I to long for a lasting relationship.Take care and live in the moment,it is all we have.
Thank you so much, tlarson. I greatly appreciate your understanding. And a reminder to live in the moment is probably the best thing anyone could say to me right now. The past is gone, so regrets are useless. The future isn't here and can't be predicted. The present is truly all I have. It is hard when I don't really like my present, though. Thanks again! Hugs!
 

Witty_Sarcasm

πŸ¦„πŸ¦œπŸ§πŸŒˆπŸŒπŸ’–
SF Supporter
#14
I'm really sorry to hear you have to deal with so much pain and loneliness. I feel like this often so I can really relate. I am around your age and also have not had a romantic relationship, and not many friends. In fact, I barely have anyone to talk to outside of this site. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the future, so I try to hope for the best. i hope things will eventually become easier for you, and if you do feel alone then remember that you have us to turn to.
 

tlarson

Well-Known Member
#15
you r very kind.I did have a wonderfull relationship or so I thought,my daughters mother left me when our daughter was 11 months old.Raised her on my own and now she has moved out.wishing u the best and thanks again.
 
#17
Alone at 41 here. It really sucks. I'm part Chinese and every time I see other Asians when I'm outside, they always seem to have other people keeping them company. It's been 18 years for me So yeah.. I feel your pain. (((Hugs)))
 
#18
I am sorry you feel that way Racheliz, but I can completely empathise. I am 34 and I feel the same way. I've had a taste of what a relationship can be like, even living together, but in the end she used me just like all the rest, it just took longer to become apparent.

Dating, or trying to find a date is exhausting and I regularly find myself feeling like you. I sincerely hope you find someone who can appreciate you and not just want what you can do for them.
 

Thauoy

Well-Known Member
#19
I've always been lonely. I'll always be lonely. Last year, reaching the age of 34 and still not knowing what it's like to be in a truly mutually loving relationship, was so awful. Now I'm 35 and, if anything, it's worse. I see couples all around me. Many people my age experienced relationships so young they now have teenaged kids.

I don't have friends, either. I am honestly so confused by what "friendship" even means or feels like.

I did have one "relationship", but it's not the same anymore. I don't think we're even really friends. It's so cruel. It's like I was given a partial glimpse so I could see and feel how wonderful a relationship could be, then it was taken away. Now not only am I still alone, but now I also know what I'm missing.

I don't even want to try anymore. Literally decades of trying has done nothing but crushed me with disappointment over and over and over.

People only want me for what I can do for them, then they toss me asside again. And why shouldn't they? All of them have friends, families, and loving relationships. They don't need or want me.

What is the point of living without relationships or love? I sob alone in my bed several times a week. I have a new doctor and new medications and a new counselor, but how are any of those going to help when all of my problems stem from the crushing loneliness? No amount of pills or counseling can fix it.

I don't want to live in loneliness anymore. But I can't get out. I feel trapped and I want to die.
Your situation is much similar to me. I feel the same as you do. I feel sorry for what you are going through. Just think that someone does care about the hurt you feel . Remember you are important and please be safe. Please don't give up. Please keep posted and share your feelings. I am glad you join SF. You are no longer alone. Best wishes and hugs.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top