what is love anyway.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lostcupcake, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. lostcupcake

    lostcupcake Member

    What is love?
    Have you ever been inlove?
    If you have how to you know its love ?

    I feel so stupid asking basic questions but i struggle to find the answer.
    Every realtionship ive been in either self distructs or just lingers.
    What am i doing wrong?
    Is it because my anxitey is so full on sometimes that i seem psychotic and drive people away?

    I was in realtionship non realtionship with someone who struggeled with depression and it just seemed to go no where we fight make up break up just be friends when i always wanted to be more i dont even know what we are now. he told me he needed space that he loved me and wanted to marry me still, then a few weeks ago told me hes tried to move on. I feel hurt i dunno what to do anymore.
     
  2. LastCall7

    LastCall7 Banned Member

    Oh man, its exhausting, I'll tell you that. Its elusive, like robin hood splitting an arrow. You'll know it. Its like taking a strong hit of acid, everything changes. It messes with your brain, it happens TOO you. Undeniable.

    But is not all princesses and fairys, its real. Good with the bad, its not a movie. But when you choose to throw everything away...fuck consequence... when you throw it all down, when they call. You might have your hit right there.

    You have to find it, you can't be taught it.
     
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  3. normaljoe

    normaljoe Well-Known Member

    Oxytocin
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I have asked this a million times. I never experienced love before, not even the unconditional love of my mother, who is quite incapable of human emotions...

    I thought I didn't deserve any love, and I even immersed myself in an abusive BDSM relationship because I figured at least I'd get attention... (he crossed the line from BDSM into abusive as he ignored the trust of safewords etc... he broke me apart, brainwashing me even).

    But then I met my boyfriend, 18 months ago. And I have never been so sure about what love is.

    There has been moments of doubt with him... (he has brain damage and PTSD and with my background it's not always the best cocktail, but we manage and support each other)
    But from the first moment we spoke there was chemistry. He made me laugh like a fool and I can still remember how warm I felt, how alive I felt.
    My heart racing, red cheeks... my cheeks even hurt from all the smiling I did when I saw his name, even if it was completely unrelated to him.

    Love is when he has to know if I got home safe, not because he would get mad if I didn't, but because he genuinely worries,
    Love is when I fight for him to get better, and he does the same for me,
    Love is that absolute high feeling I got the first time he said the 'L' word. And the second... and any time he does really.
    Love was yesterday when I saw a man act a fool waving goodbye to a kid, and I thought about him doing the same, with our child in the future...

    Love is a process too... it's fighting to stay together on bad days, it's to feel that they would do anything to keep you as much as you do them.

    Love is possible.

    Love is also loving yourself enough to love someone who is worth it, instead of someone you know is bad for you.
     
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