What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't find...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Ldub20, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    a girlfriend?

    Some people have found it pathetic but can you blame guys who contemplate suicide because of this?
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    I can understand why people would want to kill themselves if they feel completely alone. So no, I don't think it's pathetic. But I think there is someone out there for everyone and not to give up hope.
     
  3. ItsOkayEllijah

    ItsOkayEllijah Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Just explore the world and by that I mean go out and do something instead of staying home or whatever. Do some volunteering work to meet new people etc. Just know that someone somewhere is hopelessly in love with you, You just haven't meet them yet.
     
  4. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Well its still a incredibly stupid reason to kill yourself.

    I mean come on yes being lonely can suck but its not the end of the world and not to mention if someone wants to kill themselves because they can't find a gf/bf, then its a clear that they want one for the all the wrong reasons.
     
  5. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Why don't you tell us what the right reasons are, 1112222?
     
  6. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Easy for some people to say.
     
  7. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    No. Don't call it pathetic because the situation is simply not real in the first place. It's a fixation you are experiencing. Nothing more, nothing less. "Not real" in the sense that it’s your subconscious playing tricks on you. The true underlying cause of this fixation is from being obsessive, which is a disorder derived from being depressed. I like to think of it as a defence mechanism preventing you from thinking clearly, mainly because your subconscious does not believe you are ready to think clearly.

    See my other post, respond, and we'll go from there.
     
  8. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Well thats irreverent because if a person never learns how to cope with being lonely then any relationship they enter is not going to end well.

    Well the right reasons are simply ones don't involve getting into a relationship because the person is naive enough to think that having a gf/bf will stop then from wanting to kill themselves, magically solve all their problems or give them some sort of self esteem boost.
     
  9. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Again, you specified the "wrong" reasons, not the right ones. If you can claim all those are wrong, then surely you must know which ones are right?
     
  10. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Come on, think.

    Right- 1) genuinely appreciate that persons company, 2) person helps enhance the quality of your life
    Much like any real friendship, except add the sexual intimacy and romance stuff

    Wrong reasons cont - 1) Hopes that a relationship will stop that person from hating himself, 2) desperation, 3) social status, etc.
     
  11. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Those are good reasons but the point I've been trying to make simply... the right reason to be in relationship Is being because the person in question knows they can handle being in one without becoming dependent on the other to person involved to make feel happy or give them a reason to live.

    So that why this whole I want to kill myself because I can't get a missus mindset so stupid because even if said person is somehow able to get into a relationship it is going to do sweet fuck all them.
     
  12. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    I think, either you're confused about what I'm asking. Or, I've proven my point.

    Okay, The wrong reason in your mind is when you're dependent on the other person to live. That's fine. But you can't say that the right reason is NOT to be dependent on the other person to live. You can't just put the word "not" in front of the other reason, and call it a different reason. It doesn't work that way. So, either come up with a "right" reason that has nothing to do with the stuff you already said, or I'm going to consider myself to have won this one. All you're doing at this point is rephrasing the order of your words, but it seems that you have no idea whatsoever what the right reasons are to be in a relationship. And if you don't know the right reasons, then you're incorrect to think that you know the wrong ones because the only people who can say something is "wrong" is when they know what's "right". Otherwise it's mere opinion. For instance, the fact that the world is flat, is wrong, because the world is round. Right now, all you're telling me is "The world isn't flat..." So, I ask, well all right, what is it then? And you say "The right answer is that it's not flat." Do you understand what I'm saying? You're not telling me the right reasons. You're just telling me the wrong ones.

    By the way, as you're thinking of the "right" reasons, ask yourself, are they universal? Does the whole world really feel that way? Or is it just you?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2012
  13. Pembinga

    Pembinga Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    You certainly haven't "won" anything. The right reason is indeed not to be dependant on the other person. Source - cognitive therapy 101, NOT PERSONAL OPINION. Dependancy on people/places/things etc. beyond your control is unhealthy, period. I will stop here so you can let that sink in. I also encourage you to look into why its unhealthy.

    I'll leave you with a starting point - The co-dependent person looks inwardly to the relationship to provide all emotional and mental needs yet concentrates on the needs of their partner. They therefore set themselves up for failure and disappointment by not seeking their own fulfilment. They often are very clingy to their partner, which makes relationships difficult to establish and healthy ones hard to maintain. It sets unrealistic burdens on partners to provide for their needs.

    For the last time, relationships are meant to enhance your life, not become the focal point of it.
     
  14. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    So, rephrasing that statement, we all get into relationships because we don't want to be dependent on other people? That doesn't even make sense. Again, that's what he called "the wrong reason". So he can't switch the words around and say the same thing for what the right reason is.

    There are no RIGHT reasons to be in a relationship. Everyone has their own. That was my whole point. And that's why he couldn't think of any. So, let ME stop now so that can sink in. For both of you.
     
  15. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    "cognitive therapy 101" has the ability to decide what's right and wrong? I didn't know that. Must have been sick that day.
     
  16. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Thank you.
     
  17. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    And while you're at it disregard all science, history, math, and medicine, because no one has any sort of authority on any subject and it's all up to you to decide. That's why unicorns exist, gravity is a lie, and outer space is full of anthropomorphic space lizards who carry your soul to heaven when you die. Oh yeah, and heroin cures cancer and I don't need any study to tell me otherwise because I say so and I decide what's real.

    There's a difference between supporting/encouraging/working together and ending up in a needy, destructive relationship... I don't think you would be able to find a therapist alive who would recommend entering into a co-dependent relationship where you're completely reliant on another person to determine your self-worth.
     
  18. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Way to overreact, buddy. Tell you what, I'll go back to science class if you go back to English class and learn some basic reading comprehension. Deal?

    I never said anything remotely like "science doesn't work and reality is whatever I want it to be," nor did I suggest that people should enter into co-dependent relationships. All I said (well, sarcastically implied at any rate) was that "cognitive therapy" doesn't tell us anything about what's "right" and "wrong". If you can't distinguish between scientific facts and value judgments, I suggest you look into an Intro to Philosophy class as well. It'll do your brain some good.
     
  19. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    I guess I assumed that you were making some sort of coherent point about cognitive therapy having no place in relationships, as opposed to defining a concept without worrying about its relevance to the actual argument. Sorry for being so diplomatic... I guess in the future I'll have to keep in mind that some people feel a burning need to make everyone aware of all the amazing concepts and definitions that they know, and accept that pertinence often takes a backseat to ego and... uh... vocabulary.

    I think it's pretty obvious that Pembinga is saying that cognitive therapy 101 has proven co-dependent relationships to be destructive, while assuming that destruction is wasteful and counterproductive, and that waste and counterproductivity are inherently wrong. I guess you might be able to argue that destructive relationships are ethically right, but I can't imagine such an argument ever being convincing.
     
  20. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Re: What is so pathetic about feeling the urge to kill yourself because you can't fin

    Dubby, I would suppose it's because you have no crystal ball; you have no ability to see in the future whether a relationship ever will occur. By killing yourself because you think you might not ever find a "girlfriend," which is an overrated goal in my opinion, you're guaranteeing that you never will just by destroying the possibility. You live, you improve yourself, you meet people, one of them may potentially become a compatible partner you can grow with; when you live, the possibilities are still open. Some may consider it pathetic because you're cutting yourself off, and eliminating the possibility, from ever having what you claim to desire so much; so the goal itself becomes trivialized by committing suicide before it ever manifests.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2012