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What is so wrong with wanting to die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Luna Bell, Mar 11, 2010.

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  1. Luna Bell

    Luna Bell New Member

    I have no joy in being alive, no motivation, I find life pointless, I can't trust anyone, nothing makes me happy. There are those rare times I feel fine but it doesn't last. I am just feeling and thinking so many things that I can't put it in words, I just want it all to end, the thoughts and feelings.

    I was scared of suicide but recently I just don't care now. I feel like I could do it in a heartbeat, I told my fiance but he calls me selfish and says I don't really love him if I could leave him like that.. I do love him, I just can't help about the way I feel..he says he gives me everything I want, a good life, etc and that I shouldn't be feeling this way..but I do.

    I don't see what is wrong with killing myself, I didn't have a choice to be brought into this world, at least let me have the choice if I want to leave it.. it's my life, my choice..I want feelings, thoughts to just go away..I am at the point that I get depressed and angry because I wake up each day.

    Don't tell me to go to the hospital, get meds, talk to doctors, etc. Been there, done that, didn't change anything. Is it selfish of me? If this is the way I feel I can just end all the pain, shouldn't I have the right..?
  2. redemption

    redemption Active Member

    you love your fiance but you say you can't trust anyone, so you love him but dont trust him?
  3. Luna Bell

    Luna Bell New Member

    I love him but I still have trust issues in the back of my mind because my dad was abusive and then he cheated on my mom.
  4. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Why doesn't anything make you happy?
  5. redemption

    redemption Active Member

    I can't relate to having an abusive father since my parents are very good to me, so sorry about that, I'm not so naive either to think everyone is like me, but you know what I would give to have what you have right now, someone you love, someone who loves you, I realise there are alot more history in your case to take into account that screws with your mind, but just remember everything in your life isn't shit, like I know everything in my life isn't shit, it's just hard to remember the good things or to even appreciate them when you feel down, I know the feeling all too well.
  6. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    In my opinion there's ntohing wrong with wanting to die, you just need to be sure it's what you want because you don't get any second chances... Of course I think suicide should be a last resort and we should help people who feel this way, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

    I think your fiance is kind of a dick for saying that... he's probably just trying to help but it kind of puts you on a guilt trip. I always thought it was a dumb argument people made; that it's selfish... It's impossible and stupid to live your life only because others might be hurt if you left...
  7. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    Yes, there is nothing wrong with wanting to die. You are being honest.
    You are saying that you shouldn't be feeling that way but I don't think there is such a thing as you are supposed to feel certain way. I don't think expecting for certian feelings works...for me venting in here helps. I am so glad to find this place because I can talk about suicide openly and ppl don't judge me. I feel pretty safe. I just wanted to let you know that I feel exactly the same way you are. Though...
    hope everything will work out for you.
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Coming from a strictly factual standpoint, the thing that's wrong with wanting to die is that you shouldn't want to end your life when you don't necessarily have to. You can say that you feel that you do because of how you feel inside, but your feelings can always change, and with time they usually do. I do think that if one truly wants to end it then it's their right and option, but I also think that our emotions cloud our judgement so we end up with a biased opinion. I remember the time before I was suicidal. My life was shit, I had no happiness, and a bad future on the horizon. I still didn't want to end it, because rationally I knew that it could get better and I would have a better life.

    Now, I swing towards suicide whenever something goes wrong (even if nothing does I do) and it's not pleasant facing my own mortality on a daily basis. I think now I've opened myself up to the option, that option is stuck in my head and it seems more acceptable as time goes on. I can imagine that if you weren't suicidal, you wouldn't dream of killing yourself while you have what you have. Can you see yourself going back that way? Can you accept that it may be your emotions ruling your mind, and not your mind ruling your emotions? Can you open yourself up to the option that you aren't thinking rationally, and you need some help getting back on track?

    You can find people here that agree with you, that there's nothing wrong with suicide, but these people are (generally) suicidal themselves. Of course they are going to say that. See what happens when you ask someone who isn't suicidal. Someone who doesn't think with that option in the back of their mind. What do you think they'll say? Now, the answer they give you is probably not one you want to hear, but you need to hear it for your own sake, and for the sake of your life. You have a valuable life. You have a family that cares for you. You have a boyfriend that loves you, and needs you. Do you want to break his heart? Would you want him to break yours, by killing himself? No, you wouldn't. Think about these things.

    You need more reasons to keep you here, on this earth, not agreements that it's ok to kill yourself before it's needed, based on your thoughts and emotions. Thoughts change. Emotions change. Death doesn't.
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It's not the dying that is wrong. Dying is a part of life. Cant be avoided. It's all the reasons and problems and pain that brought you to the point of suicide and all the turmoil you leave for your loved ones after you're gone that is wrong.
  10. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I've been asking myself this question over and over.

    Yeah, what is so wrong with wanting to die???
    because I don't want to live anymore
    life was never easy or fun for me.

    Just tired of dealing with one thing after another.
    I just don't want to feel anything or even think or breathe...
    and I am here writing and breathing... even breathing activity is bothering me and everything is just too much.

    I can't cope with anything. Even I hear good news, I feel numb.
    Then I ask myself, what is the point of doing anything anymore?
    Really..... why do I have to go through hell and all these bullshit.
    I hate myself. I am not good enough. I've done my best. I can't do it anymore. I failed everything. I will fail everything......

    The biggest problem is that I don't want help. I am so done with everything. sick of everything....

    getting sick of complaining or venting........

    I wish I could just close my eyes and die in my sleep.
  11. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    People are emotional creatures, they generally can't accept things like death to others around them. To the point suicide is taboo. Nothing wrong with that, please understand the feelings of others around you, put yourself in their place.
  12. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I agree with a lot that is being said here.

    Wanting to die is (I'm sorry but) TEMPORARY!

    I look back on some of my earlier posts here. These were some of the darkest times of my life. I read the words that I'd written almost two years ago about how I was SOOOOOO sure that I wanted to die. There was nothing anyone could do to stop me, I was taking meds, I was going to doctors, nothing seemed to help.

    But I lived.

    Now two years later....

    I'm much closer to my daughter than ever before. I couldn't imagine leaving her alone. I was hospitalized recently for health issues and she went insane without me there.

    My writing has started to pick up and I even have a famous actor signed to one of my projects.

    I moved to another location at work which has made my life much more easier.

    I'm still single and having financial difficulties but having a support system has made my life worth living again.

    Two years later when you read your words....think back. What would YOU have missed out on?
  13. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I am wanting to die and you are telling me to understand the feelings of other around me? I have to put myself in thier place???

    hahaha! If I can do that, I won't be using this site and writing here that I want to die. :mortdesinos:
  14. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I never thought about that question becuase I know that I woudln't miss a thing
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Tobes..Sound advice!!
  16. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I've been wanting to die since the age of ten. So you have me beat by five years. I totally understand that because I've been in the same position.
  17. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    If you knew that your quality of life was always going to be zero, dying would make some sense. Say you had incurable cancer etc.

    If your just feeling upset, over life and experiences,that can pass or change easy enough.

    I myself, wake up choking, from lack of oxygen all the time. Have an extreme dryness problem that makes my throat, mouth, so dry I can't breath through them. And my sinuses seem to clog at the same time so I can't breath through them either.

    Have tried oxygen, seemed to help for a little bit, but is also very irritating, when I speak. and seems to add to the dryness problem. I have tons of other things wrong with me. The least of which is I can't hardly find any clothing to wear, as it all seems to irritate me drasticly except for a few select pieces I've found.

    I know that not being able to breathe right will, give me a stroke or brain damage or a heart attack sooner or later. I'm just praying I don't have to go to a nursing home partially paralyzed or in a coma to spend my last days in a horrible nightmare, even more horrible then my life is now.
  18. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Nope. Just understand why they might want you to live, not hard unless you can't grasp the most basic of human emotions.
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