You feel that way because you don't want to die, you just want to end the pain.
I'm pretty much against therapy… mostly because I don't think that too many therapists know what they're doing. They think they know what they're doing, but with anything that has to do with people there's always going to be something that's impossible to predict…
I have no idea what you're going through or what you've been through… but doing this isn't going to help anyone or anything and really, it's just going to be a big waste.
Maybe it's not my place to say, but whenever I'm in that state in the back of my mind I always sort of know that part of the problem is the fact that I'm so determined to make myself believe that there's nothing I can do, that I'm powerless, that I can't change how I feel… and there are some things that you can't change, but you can always change your thoughts and feelings… sometimes it's just a matter of fighting things off in your head, or focusing on a happy memory, or doing whatever you can to clear your head…
Sometimes you can't rely on other people to give you the answers or make you better--you have to do it yourself-- and suicide is just giving up without even really trying. Focus on the way you WANT to feel, and then try to get to that point in your head… I'm sure that everyone here would be willing to listen or do whatever they can to help you out!