What is the point anymore.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by imsosad, Aug 30, 2012.

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  1. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    Just want to be done. Everyone dies in the end so why continue on this suffering all the time? It doesn't get better, it just lies low some of the time. It's feel nothing/numb or feel like someone is ripping out my soul. My Mom has alzheimer's and if I don't kill myself sooner, if I ever get diagnosed with this disease, I will kill myself right away. I'm sick of trying to be positive and hoping things will change......bullshit. Just stays the same. I've been sitting here with 3 different Rx bottles in hand, all I have to do is swallow...why am I even hesitating. Something else I'll fail at...
     
  2. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Hi
    I am so sorry life is being so unkind & unfair. It must be so difficult I know Alzheimers is a horrible and intensely cruel disease in some ways even harder and more painful for family and friends to see the disintegration and deterioration of someone they love and care about.
    Please dont hurt yourself. I know its scary but you might be ok family members dont always inherit the disease. I dont know if you are close to your Mum but do you think she might want for you to find love & happiness & give her life meaning by your being happy?
    Saying that I struggle too & I know sometimes the depression has too strong a hold & then our bodies need some help to reset mineral imbalances.
    If you dont mind my asking are you on any Rx for the depression? You deserve help... Please keep reaching out, maybe confide in your GP so they can help you...? My pm box is always open if you like... but please consider getting some medication & support for you too. You deserve to feel better. Please keep safe.
    Hugs
    Ditsy x
     
  3. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    I am on meds (wellbutrin) but still struggling. Just so damn tired of trying to keep trying. I really don't see anything getting better or changing, other than my Mom's disease eventually taking her. How can anyone look at that as a goal or rest point? Today I feel like I'm the worst person in the world and just want to lie down and never get back up.
     
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    Why would anyone want to look at death as a goal or rest point? Think about all the years that your mom did enjoy life. Why would you throw all that away simply because nature will one day grow you old?
     
  5. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    This disease doesn't just grow you old, it robs you of your dignity, self-respect, self-reliance. Turns a smart, accomplished, bright woman into a 4 year old who doesn't even know me. I'm not throwing anything away, it was already taken.
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Understood. I think my point was just to not give up. There is a life ahead to live and for each of us, in our own ways, we have to fight to find solutions to our roadblocks. You need to continue fighting, it is a battle not easily won by anyone. For some, yes it is much harder. I don't know your full situation and can only go by what you posted in the context of the discussion. I hope you continue to seek solutions that are positive and with paths at least geared toward a goal of wellness.
     
  7. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    :arms: It is a cruel relentless & debilitating disease words are not enough... to even try to console or help... An unimaginable heartache sometimes we cant think about tomorrow... Just take it hour by hour minute by minute...ok? Not sure how long you have been on those meds... But I do know each person is different and sometimes a particular medication for whatever reason just doesnt work... Do you think you could ask the Dr if you need a change?

    You are not looking at your Mom's death as an end... You are understandably looking for some kind of resolution & admitting its hard is not a weakness. Dealing with all you are going through is horrificly painful... I am sure your Mom would want the very best for you & she would want to see you getting all the help & support you need & can get...
    I know it seems like the end but please ask your Dr what other help you can get... Like respite and home help.
    Urgghh sorry words are so pointless sometimes... But please know you are not alone people here care, I care...
    :hug:
     
  8. imsosad

    imsosad Active Member

    Thanks for the replies. Still in a very bad place and don't feel hopeful about anything anymore. Right now I'm waiting on acceptance for her into a long term care facility. The move will be a whole new kind of hell to get through. I honestly don't know how people keep going on, thinking things will get better. I have totally lost that. Right now I just wait for the next thing to happen and wish I didn't care if I hurt anyone by checking out.
     
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