What is the point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AMSB69, May 14, 2007.

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  1. AMSB69

    AMSB69 Member

    I don't really know how to say this but I really need to.

    Everyday I wake up and hate my very existance, I often wonder if anyone would notice if I was gone and miss me if they did? All my friends say that they would miss me, but none of them seem bothered in talking to me. They all say they would help me when I feel down, but it always seems to be when someone else is upset and I just get shoved to the background. I always help them if they need advice, I am apperently a good counciller, but they never want to help me. So please tell me why I bother?

    Also, I often feel as though I cannot go on living this life which is full of dissapointment and pain. I often try to do something to hurt or kill myself but I fortunatly (or unfortunatly depending on your view point) have been unsuccesful so far. I just need somewhere where I can say these things without judgement. I hate every living moment in my life and wish it too end. I dont have the courage to kill myself, though some say its cowardice to do that, and live on distancing myself from everyone or blaming them. I don't even know if I do want to kill myself, but i often feel as though it would be better for everyone if I did.

    Thanks for letting me rant incoherently.
  2. Ellycat

    Ellycat Active Member

    Welcome to the club matey.
  3. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    The same thing happens to me all of the time. You help and give your best advice. You care and reach out, always giving of yourself, while it seems like no one really gives a sh*t about you.

    You do this because you are a caring compassionate person, with a huge caring heart. You don't like to see others suffer when you think that you may be able to help them. You get so emotionally attached to their problem that you end up taking a lot of it into yourself.

    It's hard when you feel ignored by everyone, like no one cares if you live or die. But the thing is that there are people out here who do care about you. I care even though I don't know you I know your pain. I want to try and help you get through to the next day, and the day after that. And even though things seem like they are NEVER going to change they can.
  4. AMSB69

    AMSB69 Member

    Thanks, it helps to know someone understands and doesn't think I'm overlysensitive. But its the little things that upset me the most because its the little things that mean the most to me.

    :biggrin: I am abit happier today! :biggrin:
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