I'm not sure whether I'm going slightly crazy or that I'm just entering a new dimension of reality...I'm just confused and feeling kind of hopeless. I don't see the point of anything..everything just seems like a creation..like nothing is really supposed to be the way it is...I mean, there are 6.5 billion people on this planet, who cares what I think? I'm not doing anything to save my planet, I'm not intelligent at all, I'm overweight and disgusting looking...and then I get soooooo guilty about everything because I feel as though I'm obsessed with myself (which I completely AM!) because I'm always thinking about my problems and issues when I know there are millions out there who keep a smile on their face and who have gone through so much more pain. I guess I just feel ignored and have trust issues because I feel like I've been stabbed in the back so many times...I just someone to talk to really..to let it all out because I'm sick and tired of being behind the shadows and of putting on a cheery facade to everyone. I have a crazy big guilty conscience and I really just want to hide away from the world and just be with my dogs (the only living things I truly trust)...and just eventually disappear. I have no goals, no motivation, and no hope because like I said, none of it seems real..it's all just pointless...my parents are spending so much money on me on my private college and I don't know what I want from life...my grades suck and I know that someone else deserves it SO much more than me...I really just want to disappear.