What is the point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Scarred-angel, Sep 22, 2006.

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  1. Scarred-angel

    Scarred-angel Member

    Everything is just completely fucked up isn't it?
    I trust no one and I'm crying myself to sleep every night, nothing every really get's better and the scars might fade but I can still feel them, I stare at myself in the mirror and in my eyes a thousand demons look back at me and I just want to rip my face off, blind my eyes and cut this all out of me but I can't because it's been there for so long IT IS ME.
    Pleasure is a passing thing that lasts bare seconds in the ever growing eternity that my life seems to be, this world long ceased holding any fascination over me and it has lost it's wonder, beauty is no longer beautiful nor pleasing to these eyes as I have seen the beast that lies beneath, the corruption and the greed, the drive for nothing more than it's own pleasure, I would deafen myself to silence it's voice, I would blind myself to obscure it's taint but in the end it mocks me and in doing so mocks my very life, the very core of all that I stand for and ironically enough you're all a part of it, so really what's the point?
    I'll never connect with anything or anyone, I'm am complex to the point of madness and as such I cannot explain myself anymore than I can explain the meaning of life, my understanding deviates little further than this; God is dead or he laughs at us, you may laugh back in vain, you may laugh along in madness or you may ignore him and appear noble in such an action but in the end, he wins and always shall, he has had his joke and it long passed being humorous.
    As the seemingly prominent race on this world, who are we to shrug off our duty? To those not possessed of faith in a god, surely we are the highest being and as such should be the judges of ourselves and yet we are not!
    No one dares be the judge of man so I condemn you all for you cowardice, and shall say it now; I judge us guilty, every single one of us, we have come to accept the cruelty of the world and as such have committed the most heinous of crimes, we have made commonplace the existence of evil oh no you cry! You abhor it but you tolerate it!
    I say to you now that in allowing evil a place you have not only accepted it but made it a part of you, we have fallen further than belief can allow.
    But of course I see the futility of this, you will probably ignore this or call me a mad man, a sad case and maybe you are right, But maybe I'm right and the thought is too horrifying comprehension, one day like the rest of this race, I will be so much dust in the wind, sooner rather than later perhaps but despite my anger, I am alone and that makes me wrong.
    So please, someone wiser than me, tell me what the point is?
     
  2. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Oh you poor scarred angel. I feel for you. Not because your wrong, crazy, or mad. I feel for you because I hold a similar belief. Even the mirror thing you said at the first of your post. I will close my eyes, to avoid looking in the mirror. I can't stand looking at myself because I feel the devil himself is starring back at me. I feel like he's holding me on a leash and laughing in my face. And you are 100% right about tolerating evil in this world. Everyone disaproves, but does nothing about it. The human race as a whole has failed. We are all guilty! Many say we are destroying the planet and destroying life on Earth. I see it as perhaps judgement coming down on us. I don't even like being human. I regret being a human. And I wish I was never a human. I'd rather be a rock. Humans are so discusting. Are minds are ineffiecent. We produce more trash than restoring the environment. You Quote John Constitine, well allow me to refer you to The Matrix. I don't know what he said exactly but when Agent Smith is interrigating Morpheus, he tells of what a discusting being we are. So I'm right here with you! What IS the point?
     
  3. joce

    joce Active Member

    Scarred-angel, you've put into words exactly how I feel, but am too inarticulate or tired to even try. I would be so happy if the world just ended tomorrow. Watched some children kicking a kitten this morning and it plunged me into a feeling of not wanting to live in a world where people even consider such things. I wish I could say I was just depressed about my own messed up life but I feel for every vunerable living creature that gets trodden on. We are only here to keep the species going in my opinion. There is no point. I feel as if I'm in a battle with life versus death and my stubborness somehow keeps pushing me on. The only way of dealing with things is to shut out the world and create a world of your own. Very miserable, but possible. At least I can express myself on this forum without someone saying "always look on the bright side of life" or some such crap. You write beautifully and I will remember what you've said. Take care.
     
  4. goop

    goop Active Member

    maybe the point is to find out what the point is...
     
  5. I understand how you feel. The world has gotten to be so disgusting..that everything seems meaningless.

    But ya gotta find something, a reason to live..a purpose, and hold on to it for dear life. Everyone needs a purpose. It certainly worked for me.


    I'm sure you could do the same
     
  6. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    You are a talented writer, please don't waste the gift.
    About the mirror, I can relate...I did my first feble attempt while I was
    staring at myself. I cried the whole time, but I was mad too. It is a
    torment that other do not see.

    TLA
     
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