Within the next year two of my closest friends will be dead. One from lung cancer the other from pancreatic cancer. These are two individuals I knew I could always rely upon. I could take the death of one or the other but at the same time, not with everything else going on in my life. My business was strong and viable until I took on the wrong customer. Now I'm in a legal battle where he can't defend so he's breaking me financially. Correction, he's already broken me I can't buy a pack of Ramens most days. Then the last piece of glue that I had in my life that I thought I could depend on was released from prison. Apparently, there's been a massive change of heart after waiting 10 years. So here I sit. I have a family but they only love me when I'm spending money on them, I have none. I had friends, but they vanished when my money did. My two best friends needs me more than I never needed them and I can't even get to see them. And the love of my life, whom I patiently waited 10 years for apparently doesn't love me any more. So with everything gone... WTF is the purpose in living? I can't get out of bed most days, I can't function, this is hell and I just don't see any other way out of it.