What is wrong with me? :(

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ShoegazeDaydream, Oct 25, 2013.

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  1. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I'm the kind of person who cries whenever I see others get hurt.. and I'd like to take away their pain if I could. Very nice and caring, loyal to my friends and I love everyone who's close to me. Even friendly towards people who I don't even know..... I'm such a good person but I don't understand why people won't talk to me?? My friend who I thought was my friend never showed up to pick up so I could go to her Halloween party. Tried contacting her and she still never showed up. :pout:

    So why does this keep happening to me? Why do I keep being forgotten and treated as if my feelings don't even matter?? I've tried so hard and put myself out there but yet I keep getting dumped on by others. They won't even give me a chance.... now I feel like I'm a loser once again and I'm one step closer to giving up on life. Many things has happened in my life and this really put on a trigger for me. At the moment I have no one to talk too and the people I did have to talk too are not on right now. So now I'm suffering alone in my room, with my depressing thoughts. Cutting that one friend out of my life, cause I can't have someone as a friend who has hurt me this much. Who would want to be anyone's friend after they never showed up. Dressed up in my costume, put make up and was very excited to go.... and she never showed up. Don't understand why this keeps happening to me. What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone like me? Am I really just a worthless human being? Maybe I'm not important..... I feel like such a waste of space right now. I don't even feel like trying anymore, cause every time I try, I just keep getting rejecting by others..... :crushed:
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    how horrible this happened to you, Blueweepingrose. This is a very sad story you wrote. I believe with all my heart that there is nothing wrong with you that makes people do this. No. There may be something wrong with them that they could even think of treating another person this way. I wish you had friends who were kinder. They should be incapable of treating a friend like that. Just like you would be incapable of that.

    I will tell you that I chose friends who hurt me when I was a lot younger. I finally understood why. I felt like I did not deserve better than these people. I dont know why your friends are so insensitive and self centered in their actions. But thats why it was for me in my life. I felt like a doormat. So I attracted people who stepped all over me. It was not because I was bad. But it was because I felt unworthy of better. Again,. I do not know why your friends act that way. But I can feel in my heart that you are a good person. I can I can. I can !! I want to give you many hugs. For your good heart that is so hurting right now :hug: :arms: and finally the biggest of all. Three of them because i care a lot. you are a good person. I can feel it
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh hun how awful how cruel really your friend did this to you. I agree you do not need a friend like that Just know you will have friends here sometimes like i said hun we get sick and cannot answer all time but we do care i care about you hugs to you
  4. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    @ flowers: Thanks for responding to my thread. I appreciate it a lot, I'm feeling a little better about the situation. There's times though it still gets me down about how people act towards me, but you're right that some people just treat others this way. And I know it may not have anything to do with me. As for my friends, yes it saddens me that all my friends decided to cut me out of their live and treat me like I'm nothing. I soon cut this person out of my life cause I don't want to hurt. Think it'll be better this way cause I only want to keep people as friends who are my true friend.

    I'm sorry with what you went through and I feel very similiar. I've always did everything for my friends and I never did ask for anything in return. Whenever they would be upset I'd listen to them, if they needed a favor I helped them out. Pretty soon everyone was taking advantage of me but now I try to be very careful. Thank you for the hugs, it's been so long but I really needed one. =)

    @ total eclipse: Thank you for caring, it means a lot to me. I know there's times people can't answer and I understand that. I'm a pretty understanding person. =) You're right I don't need a friend like that and I'm no longer that persons friend anymore. Thanks for responding to my thread.
  5. Leeuwerik

    Leeuwerik Member

    Hold on BlueWeepingRose! Don't feel like giving up. I know how 'friends' can treat you, I've been there myself, but it's not worth it to give up everything because there is something wrong with them, not you. I don't know you yet, but still I want to give you a hug. Come on! We can do this.
  6. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Thank you for your kind words. They really make me feel better. :irishdoll:
  7. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    BlueWeepingRose, when you entered chat and I met you for the first time I felt like we were kindled spirits. I am shy when it comes to forum pm, but if you ever need anything, do pm me. I will always reply, i just cant initiate a conversation. I am ALWAYS here for you. when you feel sad and dont see anybody you know on, reach out to them anyway. Send messages to people. Because after sending a message you may not feel so alone. You wont get an immediate response usually, but knowing that someone will know that u need help when they log on helps me feel like I matter more.

    I dont know if you are in high school, but i am. I have found this with all my friends. This last weekend six friends agreed to coem with me to the movies. I was so excited. Who ended up going with me? my dad. It hurt me that i was abandoned, but i then knew that while i can still be friends with these people i have to know that i cannot count on them.

    i guess what i am trying to say is... reach out (I am ALWAYS HERE), keep your chin up, and keep trying
    you are amazing

    keep on trying, even when the thorns strike
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am sorry that happened to you. But I can tell what a good and caring person you are. Sometimes the most sensitive wonderful souls are left alone the most. But that does change at a certain point in time. I want you to know that.
  9. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    I am trying to learn and accept this. I hope that Rose is able to do the same. She is so amazing and I hope she can survive until she finds the light. Thank you for your kind words, I very much Appriciate them.
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes I agree with you. This also is so very much the same for blueweepingrose! The words apply for her to be sure. I am glad you both have each other. Two beautiful sensitive souls. I am being very serious when I say this.
  11. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Aw wow, this is the first time I ever saw this again and it makes me happy knowing there's someone out there who knows how I feel. It kinda makes me cry too cause here I thought nobody cared about me at all.... I hate how my mind works against me sometimes. It's becoming my enemy cause my own mind thinks so many negative things about my own self. I hope over time that I'm able to heal from all the pain that I've been through. I'm not in high school at the moment but hopefully I'll find a group of friends that will accept me for who I am. It's just so much harder to try to find friends your you're older.
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I know its hard. Especially when there is so much self doubt and negativity about the self. For me it has kept me from being involved with things that might interest me. Because there is always that pain of feeling like an outsider.

    My teacher has told me to try to focus on my heart. There is something called heartmath. I think the premise is that the mind is the sort of untrue self. the heart is really the connection to the light and the soul which is the true self. The mind is more of the body. It can have the genetics of the ancestors. It can have all sorts of influences. where the heart is more the soul connection. The connection to ones light.

    So then I wonder if it is efficent to try to quiet the mind. or perhaps the more efficent thing is to try to strengthen the focus and connection with the heart. I Do think its important for work on both. Because that mind of mine, anyway, holds a lot that may be important to work on. For me, the pesky mind even tries to keep me from focusing on the heart. oh that mind is just such a pain in my...... well....... butt, lol. :hug: Yes, I do care about you. I see that light of yours.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2013
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