Hi all, been a while since I've posted. I wish I could say that things have gotten so much better, but truly, I am still struggling. Everyone around me knows me as overly cheerful and happy, because it used to be true. But I feel that once these terrible, sad thoughts entered my mind, it rooted so deep that I just can't shake it. My migraines are still here. I'm having complications with treatment for my scoliosis. I'm constantly exhausted and in pain everywhere. I'm insecure even though I shouldn't be. I don't have many close friends, and the ones I did have, have moved on to better people. Boys? Haha, that's funny. I'm decent at a couple things, but I don't have one skill that I can really excel at. I have no desire to continue with my passions. So maybe I have some excuses to be a bit sad sometimes? Yet, I still feel incredibly guilty posting this. People have gone through so much worse, all I'm doing here is taking time away from people who really need the help. Life is really hard though. I don't necessarily want to die, but I just want everything to stop for a while. I'm so tired and overwhelmed. I stopped talking here, and in the real world, because I just had no energy to even try and communicate. I found myself numbing out the sadness with loud music and television. I know, this depression I'm feeling is "normal" for my age, and I'll "grow out of it". I'm just being weak and letting it affect me when it shouldn't. I need to work harder. Guess I'll just have to keep telling myself and everyone else that I'm fine. Why can't I just suck it up and be fine?? So I'm sorry to take your time with my complaining. Just feel so sad and alone. Though, it did make me smile to see that I wasn't completely forgotten here, some members still remembered me.