What is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by }{Feather Pen}{, Apr 18, 2007.

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  1. I really, truly think I'm addicted to cutting. I WANT to do it. I know I'm not supposed to and I don't need to but I want to do it anyway. Damn, I had how to write this to sound better earlier but now I can't remember how to explain it.

    I looked up my condition in the urban dictionary:

    Urban Dictionary Results For: cutter

    [1] One who cuts themselves to relieve themselves from an emotional pain.

    Cutting is not something one advertises, and when someone does cut they are generally ashamed and hide it as well as they can.

    Can be done with any sharp object, such as, but not limited to, knives, razors, broken glass, broken cd's, scissors, and safety pins.

    [2] An often, but not always, derogatory term for someone who practices self-injury (also known as self-harm and self-mutilation) by scratching or cutting his or her skin with a sharp object.

    It is usually a symptom of mental illness.

    The vast majority of self-injurers hurt themselves out of negative emotions, including, but not limited to, anger, self-hatred, depression, or numbness; they also try to hide the cuts with clothing, jewelry, or make-up. Some misled persons cut themselves for attention, or to make themselves look cool, which warrants pity, not scorn. Some fit into both categories. Cutters who do not hide their injuries do not necessarily fit into the latter group; they have often given up trying to hide it, or regard it as something that should not be hidden, either because it is a valid "lifestyle choice" or because they are not ashamed of their pain, even though they want to stop.

    Cutting and other forms of self-injury, such as burning, eating disorders*, banging, and hair-pulling, can be a coping mechanism for many. It is NOT a suicide attempt, and some suicidal people hurt themselves so that they can cope with their emotions and _avoid_ suicide.

    Cutters can not be categorized by age, gender, appearance, or clique. Some self-injurers have been doing it as long as they can remember, i.e. as toddlers, and there are cutters who are in their thirties and probably older. They are male and female. They are preps, nerds, skaters, goths, punks, and any other label you can think of. They are parents, small children, and yes, teenagers.

    *This is not to say that all people with eating disorders should be regarded as self-injurers, only that there is some overlap between the two groups.

    [3] I'm totally shocked by the number of people who find it necessary to criticize and make fun of cutters. Cutting is a serious issue and is no more worthy of being made fun of than any other illnesses (down syndrome, diabetes, mental retardation). Cutting is often a sign of bigger issues that need immediate attention, such as depression, anxiety, dissociative disorders, etc.. The strange thing about human psychology is that there are no set rules. Everyone is different and expresses themselves in their own way. You don't have to have the worst past in the world to be depressed. Depression is a chemical disorder in your brain that can be passed down genetically. Just because your parents are rich or not divorced doesn't mean that you cannot have depression. In my experiences depression is triggered by life events that overwhelm the affected person. A death in the family may not bother some as much as it does others. There is no chart to say how sad you should be for each of life's events, and no way of avoiding your genetic past. Also, the stereotype of mostly girls committing SI is absurd. Males are just as likely to SI as females. Maybe they don't seek help like females or do it in different ways (punching walls, knowingly doing dangerous things, etc...).

    Although I will admit that in the large numbers of people in the world it has to be true that some people cut just for attention. These people can usually be uncovered by listening to them talk. Most cutters tell only the people closest to them (spouse, close friend etc...). Attention seekers would have to let almost everyone they know about their actions in order to receive the attention desired. Although I'm sure there are people who are just tired of hiding their actions, and decide that they don't care who finds out and judges them, but that doesn't mean they will advertise their affliction. It would become increasing difficult to hide the longer you cut since you will eventually run out of space on your commonly covered skin.

    Urban Dictionary Example For: cutter

    SomeGirl: OMG, I adore Emily, she is *sooo* sweet!!!
    AnotherGirl: Yea...I spied on her in the shower and she had slashes all over her thighs... she so cuts herself...

    Sorry if that was graphic or considered suggestive. But my friend cuts herself for attention. I really wish she would stop because it really upsets me when she goes around showing off her scars and asking me to show mine to people. I love her to death, and she's my best friend, but now I really wish I hadn't confided in her at all. I don't want the whole world to know what I do. I came to this message board hoping to get answers. Sometimes people make me feel like I'm seeking attention when I cut myself, when I really wish they would all just leave me alone! I want to cut! But I wish it were accepted so the people that know won't give me the guilt trip every day..
  2. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    i posted a message yesterday about feeling addicted to cutting. so i totally empathise with you.

    your friend should HOPEFULLY come to her senses. i hate it when people cut like its ''cool'' i dont understand why they would want to??

    maybe you should tell her how it makes u feel about her being so open about it?

    anyways. keep safe yeh?

  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Surely if someone cuts themself for whatever reason that's a serious problem and needs addressing? Preferably by professionals?
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 18, 2007
  4. No no, I know for a fact she's just wanting attention. First of all, she uses safety pins and just scrapes the surface until it's really red. Because even a small scrape can turn into something that looks like a full-blown cut. Second of all, honestly, she tells me all of her problems, and none of them seem even remotely stressful (except the occasional History exam, but I hate History so I can empathize). Another, she shows it to EVERYONE. She showed it to our Psych teacher, our entire class, she announces when she's going to the bathroom to do it, the whole SHEBANG.
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I still hold the same point of view. If someone is harming themselves for whatever reason, that's a serious problem that needs addressing. Also,atttention seeking in itself is a problem that needs to be addressed by a professional. there will be deep rooted reasons for her harming. Maybe you don't understand it, but to me she sounds like she needs real help.
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