I can't think straight anymore. It seems like the only reason I interact with other people is to beg for attention. I want to feel loved, but I wont accept anyones love. I feel so paranoid and I dont know whats wrong with me. Is it borderline personality? I'm finally getting out of the house for the first time in weeks. My friend invited me to party hes throwing tonight... and I have no idea how I'm going to react. I will probably know alot of people there. I dont know if thats a good thing or not. Hopefully no girls from my past. Maybe I'll totally melt down? I have some cigs to keep me calm for a bit. What is wrong with me?