What is wrong with me???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Justsolost, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. Justsolost

    Justsolost Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone. So, I had a particularly bad 'episode' today, that seemed to come out of nowhere. The best way I can describe it was, a sudden anxiety attack coupled with extreme depressive and suicidal thoughts. I honestly don't know what, if anything, triggered it, because I was doing relatively well as recently as yesterday. My depression//suicidal feelings have been erratic my whole life, but I can't remember the last time I had anything this extreme come on so suddenly. It made it impossible for me to focus in class today, which is a serious problem. As I'm sure many of you are aware, pre-med classes are damned intense, and this stupid depression is directly interfering with my scholastic progress at the moment. I've been doing my best to reject my suicidal thoughts, and normally I don't have too much trouble in doing so, but for today in particular it's been hard on me.

    I don't know what I can do right now; I don't even have health insurance yet so getting any form of professional help for my depression is basically out of the question....

    So far basically everyone I've met here has been very supportive and helpful, so hopefully by posting on here, it'll help me through this.
     
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i'm guessing that you are not covered under your parents' insurance

    can the school provide any kind of counseling?
     
  3. Justsolost

    Justsolost Well-Known Member

    I'm going to be honest.... I've been terrified of the ramifications of seeking help for this. My longstanding concern has always been that I could lose my future right to practice medicine over mental health issues. While it is true that I don't have health insurance right now, I might be able to seek counseling at my school. I really don't know how that works, so I guess I could look into it? I'd still have to watch what I say, though.... But it seems like it may be better than nothing?
     
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    you should definitely take advantage of whatever services the school can offer you

    depression sucks - plain and simple

    if you are going into medicine in pretty much any capacity you will definitely find yourself in situations that may trigger you, so it's better that you get help now to find out how you can cope with it long-term

    i say give it a try and good luck to you

    we'll always be here if you need a boost or a sounding board
     
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