What is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by verylonely, Sep 25, 2011.

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  1. verylonely

    verylonely New Member

    okay, this is some backstory to my ordeal here. Im 16 never had a girlfriend,hell never kissed a girl. i feel like shit when im by myself like right now i cant get the thought of killing myself out of my mind, and tearing up as i write this... im not bullied in school, i have a job, car, no lisence though( not old enough). i have no real reason to feel like this, but yet i still do. Ive been talking to this girl but lately she has been drifting away i havent told her about these feelings im having right now cuz i know ill scare her away. my kinda half friends that i talk to every once and a while have labled me as insecure, i really only have one real friend. ive told my parents about how i feel depressed but not about me wanting to kill myself, they just keep telling me it'll pass. ive felt like this before but never to this point. I dont do drugs, i used to smoke pot but i stopped because i honestly didnt like it very much. I don't drink either... i used to be you could say a bully, but only to those half friends i have because we all used to rash on eachother... but i never talk to them anymore... i try and treat everyone nicely now, like at work when a bunch of special needs kids came in my coworkers were smiling and chuckling. i was disgusted. okay im wrapping this up. i really dont know what to do with myself right now.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun 16 hun soon you will be through highschool going onto college whereyou will meet new friends I know you feel so isolated hun Is there any clubs you can join at your highschool any sport activity you can join just so you can get out more among people okay. please talk to a councillor at your school about how depressed you are they can help hun . Tell yourparents as well hun be open with them so they can helpyou
    They can talk to your doctor with you and see if medication may help as well
    There is nothing wrong with you okay you just need some supports in place to help you right now hugs
  3. Depression started for me in 11th grade, and by 12th every hour of every day was committed to thinking about a way to die and make it look like an accident and somehow convincing everyone around me I was O.K. I don't know why, thinking back why it was so important for me to hide it from everyone, my parents knew because I was barely functioning but they didn't know I was suicidal. After I tried right after I graduated H.S I went and talked to a psych. Meds, counseling, both have made a huge difference. I am now 23, and a year from graduating college. I haven't questioned whether i should commit myself in 2 years. Talk to someone, its ok, depression is a serious thing, but it can be treated, coped with, and I never would have made it alone.
    (also, I was 19 before I kissed a girl ;) )
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    My parents used to just tell me that "it'll pass." They didn't really understand as much as I wanted them to about how my emotions were not just a result of being in adolescence. I agree with total_eclipse in that I think talking to a counselor could potentially be very helpful to you...someone other than your parents to talk to about sensitive topics. Anyhow, welcome to the forums. :)
  5. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox Well-Known Member

    Hey find someone to talk to, whether it's a counselor or your parent or a friend and get things off your chest. You don't have to suffer alone, no matter how tempting it is to block people out and clam up. Are there any activities you like doing in particular to take your mind off what's going on?

    Medications help to some extent but the (one) best way(s) to help yourself back onto feet is to get out there and talk to others, even though you may not feel like it. In time you may meet your soul mate, whether in one year or five - there are opportunities - the more you get yourself out the house, the more chances there will be. I'm 21, and I have yet to enter a relationship with any one, but that doesn't mean that there's nobody who is compatible.

    Sorry if I sound patronizing or anything, not really used to cheering people up either, but I hope that you feel better about things . . . .
  6. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Hey. Nice to hear from another 16 year old on the forums! :)
    Sorry that you're feeling down though. Don't be to harsh on yourself with the not ever kissing a girl nor being with one thing. I've never kissed anyone nor been with anyone in a real relationship. Its always been long distance online stuff to me. Just enjoying your innocence for now. Your day will come. But yeah.. You should talk to a counselor about your thoughts & try to meet some pals by getting into stuff you like. Believe me.. I know what its like to be told "it'll pass". I've been told that for 3 years now. If you're wanting to clear those dark thoughts & go on with your life then you can! I just know you can! But anyways.. If you ever want someone to message though, you can message me. Welcome to the forums by the way.

    - Miranda ♥
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2011
  7. verylonely

    verylonely New Member

    thanks guys but the thing is even if i tell someone nothings wrong with my life right now, i enjoy school, no problems at home. i have no reason to feel like this and im hating myself for it, why would i wanna kill myself when there are many people with horrible problems in their life that would never think of this? I never had a problem about this kissing girl thing until this new girl i started talking to, shes come over a couple of times and hungout just me and her but i can get the courage to do it, and my family is just ragging on me about it... i cant try the hole sport thing because well... i suck at them lol. i fix cars not throw balls. hell if someone looks at me i get paranoid that they are judging me or laughing at me, when i shouldnt. when i wrote that last night i was in a deep place, as i woke up this morning the suicidal thoughts drifted away but tonight i bet ill feel the same... thanks everyone for the support.<3 :)
  8. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    i think emptiness and emotional isolation has part to do with it. we all have basic emotional needs and ironically theyre more likely to go unfulfilled in a middle class suburban environment than in the third world. twisted shit. i was extremely emotionally isolated for most of my life and it resulted in a very unhealthy attachment at one point...to someone i barely even knew
  9. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    Gosh, I remember going through the same thing when I was about your age (I'm 20 now). It is really really horrible, feeling depressed and sullen all the time for seemingly no reason. I used to hate myself because I thought I overreacted to every little thing and that I was being so selfish because other people had it way worse than I did and they didn't complain nearly as much as I did.

    One thing I can say is that your parents are right: it will pass. It always does. That's what I learned. I've been in and out of depressions for years now and one thing I'm sure of is that the feelings go away eventually. It may not seem like they ever ever will, and it may seem like it really sucks that the depression will come back. But the happiness comes back as well, and we just have to hang onto that hope.

    My siblings didn't help either--they kept saying I was just being an angsty rebellious teenager and they'd tease me for it. I think that made it much much worse because I felt like such a nothing special stereotype, but at the same time I felt like there was something horribly wrong with me. It was only after I learned to be happy with who I was that I stopped being the "angsty" teenager my siblings kept telling me I was, and I learned to accept myself and be patient when I felt overwhelmed by strong emotions.

    Hang in there. :) If your depression really bothers you, try and have a sincere talk with your parents and tell them that you think you need help. If they just brush you off, write a letter--they can't brush that off since they'll have to take the time to read it. Good luck.
  10. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I've been there a dozen times before. Honestly, it seems like you're in a much better position than I ever was at that age. I'm still in the same position at 18. I'm just like you. I'll eventually get a girl, kiss her, go on dates, etc. Don't worry about any of that shit. You'll do it all eventually. I suppose you could try talking to a counselor.
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