My fiancee and my mother. What happens to them if I do it? How much pain are they going to have to go through because of what I did? Asking myself those questions makes me keep those thoughts at bay. If I ever lost my fiance though and something happened to my mom, I'm definitely dead.
I have multiple reasons but chose other because my biggest reason for still being here is my dog. I know that might sound silly... but she pines for me if I'm away from her for a week. I can't imagine what she'd do if I were gone for good. The closest I ever came to going through with it... I snapped out of it when she scratched at my door.
my kids and only my kids!!!
no matter how bad it gets i have to swim through the shit to the other side as i have to be there for them.
its not just about having both parents as my wife would do a great job, but its about the days when they need me and only me. in the future im sure they will make life mistakes and i want to be there no matter what to say its all ok and not to worry you have family who love you and will do anything for you.
i medicate and try my best so they wont have to suffer or feel pain. id take their pain any day!!!