What keeps you going and how do you get through each day??
- Thread starter jamie20m
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The thought of what effect my death would have on my children. Not only because I know what the loss of a parent can mean to them, but also knowing that I would be placing their lives in the hands of the very same person that helped to put me in this postion to begin with. I would basically be sentencing my children to a life of misery or death. That is a strong motivator to hold on as long as I can. It won't be forever. I know that. But one more day.
Deep depression. It drains you of willpower, even the willpower to actually go out and physically kill yourself in some manner which terrifies you. Naturally if you have something in the house to OD on, the barrier would be far less.
Thats a pretty miserable answer, but the honest truth to a certain extent. If suicide is in practice quite difficult to accomplish, then you will have a natural barrier in place.
On a more positive note, if you can find something to distract yourself, then that will help. The more intellectually or physically challenging the better. Its extremely hard to hold much interest in anything if you are severely depressed, but if you do manage to find something strong enough to distract you from your suicidal thoughts that will certainly help.
On a philosophical note, you can always embrace your pain and vulnerability, reinterpret it in a positive light. If you believe it all has some purpose -- "suffering is good for the soul," "it will forge you into a better person," etc. -- then that may help soothe you a little. If you think about it carefully, you may find that your suicidal depression has made you into a better person : you have become more compassionate and have a greater appreciation for the pain of others, for example.
Thats a pretty miserable answer, but the honest truth to a certain extent. If suicide is in practice quite difficult to accomplish, then you will have a natural barrier in place.
On a more positive note, if you can find something to distract yourself, then that will help. The more intellectually or physically challenging the better. Its extremely hard to hold much interest in anything if you are severely depressed, but if you do manage to find something strong enough to distract you from your suicidal thoughts that will certainly help.
On a philosophical note, you can always embrace your pain and vulnerability, reinterpret it in a positive light. If you believe it all has some purpose -- "suffering is good for the soul," "it will forge you into a better person," etc. -- then that may help soothe you a little. If you think about it carefully, you may find that your suicidal depression has made you into a better person : you have become more compassionate and have a greater appreciation for the pain of others, for example.
The only things that keeps me going much of the time is hunting with my animals, to be out in the fields in my only sanctuary.
apart from that im lucky to have a beautiful fiance that understands what is wrong with me and supports me at my worst times. god knows how she puts up with me! i have to look after my animals which gives me a responsibility that i need to face up to.
The most motivated time for me is when im at my old workplace, looking after 300 falcons, vast responsibility but it motivates me to the point ill sleep every night, for at least 5 hours, i work all day and appreciate every minute, everything i see.
another thing although not on such a happy note is revenge, that also gives me motivation to get up and live.
apart from that im lucky to have a beautiful fiance that understands what is wrong with me and supports me at my worst times. god knows how she puts up with me! i have to look after my animals which gives me a responsibility that i need to face up to.
The most motivated time for me is when im at my old workplace, looking after 300 falcons, vast responsibility but it motivates me to the point ill sleep every night, for at least 5 hours, i work all day and appreciate every minute, everything i see.
another thing although not on such a happy note is revenge, that also gives me motivation to get up and live.
i ask myself "what if i am wrong" .... wrong about the reasons for my self-hatred, self-doubt, feeling like a loser. my therapist once said "wouldn't it be a shame to kill yourself over a misinterpretation" and that's the main thing that keeps me going. i have been wrong in the past, i might be wrong now. none of my friends see me as the loser i believe myself to be. maybe i am wrong. it keeps me going one more day.
Not finding a good enough method. Going to work, keeps me in a routine and doesn't give me enough time to do other things. I also do a second job being a paper run after work, which gives me exercise.
I play computer games and just lately have two games I like playing on face book being "mob wars" and "crazy parking" where you earn money in the game (not real life) and can buy things to earn more money etc, it is very addictive and fun.
Also driving around in the car and I see a shrink once a week but I don't think she does much for me, I can take it or leave it.
I play computer games and just lately have two games I like playing on face book being "mob wars" and "crazy parking" where you earn money in the game (not real life) and can buy things to earn more money etc, it is very addictive and fun.
Also driving around in the car and I see a shrink once a week but I don't think she does much for me, I can take it or leave it.
Between therapy, meds, and talking on the forum has helped me immensely. Before I joined the forum I didn't talk to anyone, except my therapist and my sister. I don't tell her much because she has problems of her own. The biggest deterent is my daughter and my grandaughter. I wish I could figure a way around not hurting them. Even though they are staying with us I still isolate myself in my bedroom. So everyone comes in here and hangs out. I like to beleive they are in here for me, but in reality they are fighting who gets on the computer next. Well Take Care!!!!:chopper:!!!
My anxiety disorder has gotten so bad that I have to spend several hours a day sitting in a chair trying to meditate through waves of panic attacks. When my anxiety is not so paralyzing I do simple tasks around my Dad's house (lost my apartment) and visit family to take them shopping or to appointments or do handiwork for them.
When my OCD doesn't have me compulsively checking/adjusting/lubricating/cleaning (arrrrrrrrgh! Damned OCD! :sad
my bicycle I go for long aimless rides. I get together with friends and walk in nature preserves, have some takeout then spend some time at a bookstore or once in a while a movie. All of my friends also suffer depression/OCD so we support one another.
I'm hoping an upcoming hospitalization with ECT will stabilize me enough so that I can do volunteer work at a local church where I know a priest who is an amazingly kind person and I feel incredibly fortunate to know.
When my OCD doesn't have me compulsively checking/adjusting/lubricating/cleaning (arrrrrrrrgh! Damned OCD! :sad
my bicycle I go for long aimless rides. I get together with friends and walk in nature preserves, have some takeout then spend some time at a bookstore or once in a while a movie. All of my friends also suffer depression/OCD so we support one another.I'm hoping an upcoming hospitalization with ECT will stabilize me enough so that I can do volunteer work at a local church where I know a priest who is an amazingly kind person and I feel incredibly fortunate to know.
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