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What makes a 14year old feel like this?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JBird, Jan 21, 2008.

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  1. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    What makes a 14year old dream and think about harming/killing themselves?

    It shouldn't matter how hurt i was in the past, i should be doing what other 14 year olds do! i shouldn't be on suicide forums, i shouldn't be like this.

    Recently i've been having a lot of nightmares which is why i don't like to sleep. The dreams always end in me shooting myself or my parents shooting me. Last night when i finally decided to try to sleep i unconsciously made a plan on how i could kill myself, i don't know how i done it, i knew i was making a plan in my head but i didn't set out to make one and i couldn't stop myself from making it. All i think about it suicide but i don't know why. I'm happier than i've ever been in my entire life so why am i plotting to kill myself? If i could control it i'd shove it to one side and just think it was me being silly and atleast i can control it but i can't control it, i honestly can't control it.

    What's happening?

    I don't like who i am, i'm very conscious about how i act and how horribly clingy i am. I don't know how to change that and i wish people understood why i'm so clingy. At 14 years old i've only just started making friends and talking, i've only just started to know what it feels like to be accepted and cared for and i don't want to lose that feeling so i cling. I don't mean to be, maybe in time i'll stop being so clingy.

    I don't mean to be like this and i wish i wasn't like this.
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    there can be all kinds of reasons, and i think it's different for each of us, usually helps to talk it out. either here.. or with a therapist... anyone you can confide in?
  4. New-Hope

    New-Hope Well-Known Member

    Hey JBird.
    I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this at only 14. I do know how it feels. I was suicidal at 14 too.

    On the subject of the dreams you have.
    It's strange that you have these dreams without feeling suicidal (you say you are the happiest you've ever been in your life).
    Do you think about commiting suicide before you go to sleep? A lot of the time dreams can be affected by your final thoughts before you go to sleep.

    I'm glad to hear that your friendships are going well.
    Don't worry about losing your friends! If they care for you then there's no need to worry!

    Hope you sleep better soon hunni :hug:
  5. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I wonder that myself . I have actually know one who is only 12 who actually committed suicide. Please, please, whoever you are ,whatever the circumstances is DO NOT act on it. I have a son who is also 14 ,always by himself, & I am sick worried what he is thinking all the time. We live apart. Talk to someone you can build a trust with. I know family here is different , but try to reach out. Please don't be ashame to ask for help, we are all entitled to it. Someday when you can ,then you help others ,then the circle of kindness continues. Good people , must take care among each other, not those goddamn people who has no inkling of care .

    I have no idea about the clingy part,ask your mother . The part to be accepted or to belong is crucial to our self confidence/ self assurance interpersonal relationship, thus gangs ,clubs, associations, fraternities etc.. exist ,unfortunately there is not much for the kids/teens even the adults of certain groups. Its very hard to be alone, as adults I can tell you that first hand expert of being alone. Maybe learn some hobbies, as I found out that people with common interests can be a good chance of finding same ground who will understand you. Same feathers ,can flock together.
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Jbird. You mentioned that you are the happiest that you have ever been in your life, and based on the conversations that I've had with you in the chatroom, you sound like a very nice person. So why then would you be having suicidal dreams? Here is one possible explanation. If you believe in reincarnation, then it's possible that in one of your previous lives, you committed suicide and these memories are resurfacing while you sleep. Don't let these dreams worry you. You do not want to commit suicide in this life and don't let your dreams change your mind hun.
  7. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    :hug: Hang in there! Our brains are real mystery and dreams are greater mystery! Maybe you read something or heard in the news or watched some movie or It was crawling in the shadows of your mind, i really dont know. We are all here for you. You can add me to your msn if you like. Stay safe an d strong!
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    BEAK :eek:hmy::sad: With what life has dealt you it would be a miracle if you weren't a bit clingy. :hug:
    Cling on as much as you want and need to, when you're ready and feel safe you'll be able to let go a bit. :hug:
  9. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    :hug: I don't talk much, i've probably spent 90% of my life quiet so i can't talk to anyone about this. Its weird, on MSN or chat i can't stop talking, i seem loud and happy but in reality i spend my days sat in the corner of my room drawing. I like being on my own and i like not talking, you can't get in trouble if you don't talk.

    I haven't watched anything about suicide recently though the last 5 months of last year i was surrounded by death.

    I don't know.
  10. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    firstly, forget about using the words 'should' and 'shouldn't' - they're not good words to use. Also don't think that you can't change things just because you're young.
    Rather than concentrating on what you don't want, what is it that you do want?
  11. odin93

    odin93 Guest

    I tottally feel the same way, excpet i aint really that happy. Just look at the bright things in life and it will get you through it. If your friends are your true friends they wont mind if your clingy because they like you, and if they arent well then... Just hang in there with the dreams, hope things get better for ya soon. :hug:
  12. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :sad: Jujiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I'm around if you want to talk, ramble, etc. :arms::wub:
  13. I feel you on this one, I am also 14 and I am feeling the same way with these thoughts and or dreams but im not really that happy. If yo uare exremely happy and you cannot find anyhting that would make you dream and or think about suicide then you should just keep reminding yourself how happy you are. If you are truly happy then you should not let the dreams control you. Have you tried talking to a trusted person about this? I don't think your friends will think you are too clingy, it may just be you over thinking the thought of being clingy or just not feeling comfortable with people. But my advice to you is to talk to somebody about it. Maybe one the worries of these thoughts and dreams will be resolved by talking about them? I sure know it helps me a lot. You can IM me or PM me if you want to talk, I can sort of relate.
    (msn: oshmoganshignog@hotmail.com, aim oshmoganshignog)
  14. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    the thing is i'm not happy. i say this is the happiest i've ever been in my life doesn't mean i'm happy...its hard to explain.
  15. odin93

    odin93 Guest

    I understand how thats like, your getting happier but you havent really been ever happy in life or atleast you feel taht way, i just hope it gets better for ya, ims till trying to convince myself that i dont have life too hard, but its hard getting happy, if you ever wanna talk just add my msn cool_russian_golfer@hotmail.com, ye i konw its a stupid msn but i made it 5 years ago when i was 9 so ye...
  16. Well if this is the happiest you have ever been, then that makes it all the more reason for you to not end it and not let the nitemares get to you. If everything is going better than it ever has doesn't that make you want to try to see and wait if things get better or atleast stay how they are? I think you should hang in and not let the nitemares control you. Not to be too suggestive, but are you sure there isnt anything causing you to have these dreams? Maybe your worries of being too clingy are cauing you to think all this sudden aceptance will go away? If you are just starting to feel cared for - may it be the past and or worries from it that are bothering you? Usually dreams are somewhat relative to what is going through your mind or what is in the back of it at a point in time, or atleast for me they are. If you are starting to feel accepted and make friends, you should talk to one of them or maybe a trusted adult?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2008
  17. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I'm only 15, but I was the same at 14 as well.
    When you said :
    "the thing is i'm not happy. i say this is the happiest i've ever been in my life doesn't mean i'm happy...its hard to explain."
    It may not mean your happy, but it does mean your happier than you were in the past, so isn't that atleast a step in the right direction?
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