What makes a 14year old dream and think about harming/killing themselves? It shouldn't matter how hurt i was in the past, i should be doing what other 14 year olds do! i shouldn't be on suicide forums, i shouldn't be like this. Recently i've been having a lot of nightmares which is why i don't like to sleep. The dreams always end in me shooting myself or my parents shooting me. Last night when i finally decided to try to sleep i unconsciously made a plan on how i could kill myself, i don't know how i done it, i knew i was making a plan in my head but i didn't set out to make one and i couldn't stop myself from making it. All i think about it suicide but i don't know why. I'm happier than i've ever been in my entire life so why am i plotting to kill myself? If i could control it i'd shove it to one side and just think it was me being silly and atleast i can control it but i can't control it, i honestly can't control it. What's happening? I don't like who i am, i'm very conscious about how i act and how horribly clingy i am. I don't know how to change that and i wish people understood why i'm so clingy. At 14 years old i've only just started making friends and talking, i've only just started to know what it feels like to be accepted and cared for and i don't want to lose that feeling so i cling. I don't mean to be, maybe in time i'll stop being so clingy. I don't mean to be like this and i wish i wasn't like this.