what makes us keep from dying?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by npain42long, Oct 1, 2007.

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  1. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    So i am sitting here reading all of these posts and i wonder what keeps us from doing it. mine is guilt that i will leave behind devastated people in my life who love me. the other is any day i pick, i reason that someone will blame themselves for my demise because they did not call, or maybe they did not have time to talk when i called them. and i do not want to leave behind someone who is in the same shape i am in. silly i know. because if i am dead what would i care. but i can just see God saying, oh no! young lady, you left behind some miserable people and until you make it right, you are remanded to prugatory. huh, what I have been in all this time anyway? so yep, hell is right here on earth most of the time for me. the place i choose to be because i am thinking of myself and i do not want to end up dead and in the same place. crazy huh? :argh:
     
  2. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    yeah i guess it will always be in the back of my mind... what if there is a god and what if you do get punished for committing suicide. also i love my man and i wouldnt want him to be disappointed or hate me for doing it. i know i am it for him and if he didnt have me then he wouldnt find anyone else. i also think of the possibilities that life can be better and things work out, i have been thru really bad times and its always gotten better so why not now?
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I'm too chicken shit, which makes me hate life even more.
     
  4. Azul

    Azul Well-Known Member

    Maybe we just don't want to trade whatever our life is (at least it's something) for nothing. We would never see the moon again, for example.
     
  5. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    chickenshit? come on, to me it takes more for me to stay alive than to die. i have always believed the truly courageous ones continue to live and fight another day. then there are those who do die, who chose to give in to their inner demons and they are no less courageous than us who continue to live through the hell fire here on earth.
    i have always lived on laughter to keep me going. i tend to put a joke in here and there to lighten my mood some. i just wanted to put that in, because it seems as if i joke more than be serious sometimes. it helps. or maybe we could call that a defense mechanism. my laughter is used to cover my tears????
     
  6. brainstorm

    brainstorm Well-Known Member

    Billions of years of evolving a body that has amazing mechanisms to stay alive. Some of the triggers that keep humans alive come from the amoebas. What that eventually means is that every time I breathe out, my body forces me to breathe in and be alive another 5 seconds...

    As for why I don't kill myself, apart from the fear of hurting the people around me that care for me, and that I'll always stay the same person that died in that moment (with no change of getting better, or being different, or of being loved): I don't want anything badly enough to do something about it, and that applies to dying, too.
     
  7. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I believe I fear death too in a way, knowing that we are unsure of what will happen after we died and so out of fear I am still alive despite all of the shit that has happened. Right now, I ain't feeling so bad but I am not sure if this will last at all. But of course, there are some other things that holds me back though.
     
  8. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    What keeps me from killing myself is the pain that I know my family would feel. My mother is depressive already, her best friend died last year and I'd hate to make her feel even worse. I feel trapped in a way because I know I have an obligation to them even though it stops me from taking away the pain and self-loathing I always feel.
     
  9. danko

    danko New Member

    i am so glad i found this forum, this place where u can ''at least'' speak out.

    i must say not so long time ago the reason that kept me from commiting suicide was the thought of my mother and sister and beloved ones etc., but then something happened in me and that doesn't matter to me to stop me, it also occured to me that all they r as selfish towards me as i am towards them, they want me keep on living - suffering, having that much ammount of pain i have, they just think of them, they also could understand and let me go by considering it like a great deed, so i might get ridoff pain and misery forever. Nevertheless, since short time I ve discovered that now there's something else that doesn't let me give up on living, and the most weird thing is i can't figure out what that it. Daily it is on my mind, i try to figure it out, it fucking drives me totally nuts!!! --- like there was not enough for me here!!!

    Being punished by God and then to burn in hell eternally doesn't fear me because i simply don't believe in that crap. However, the fear of the unknown is scary.
     
  10. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I haven't done it yet because I don't want to hurt my friends and family. In essence, I live for them now. I am not thankful for having them to hold me back though, because it just leads to a frustrating sensation of being trapped.
     
  11. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    I'm resolved to suicide in one way or another,what's putting me off is that my preferred method is overdose and from what i've read on this forum it is very rarely successful and i don't fancy waking up in the hospital,let alone with Liver damage etc.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2007
  12. Ninja

    Ninja Active Member

    I don't think that we're allowed to discuss methods.
     
  13. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    What keeps us? I don’t give human emotions much credit, because all we are, and all we do, are because of the chemicals in ourselves.
    Humans are animals. No animal wants to die. Parts of us, say the reason part of our brain wants to die, however the primal, emotion part of us, doesn’t want to.
    When a human is cornered by a monster, certain chemicals and such in him shoot through the roof, as motivation for him to stay alive, and to help him fight. Same idea, sept that monster that has you trapped in the corner, is yourself.
    Your body is trying to keep itself alive, so it throws all these emotions and such at you to try and keep you here.
     
  14. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    so i am not the only who feels resentment towards my loved ones who will not let me go. they hold on so tight. demanding that i hang in there and continue on even though i am in so much pain. but is it that they are selfish or is it me??????could it be that tomorrow may be better? man, talk about questions going through the head.
    by the way, the one who was talking about a reason for living but cannot figure it out, could it be your desire to get past this and your ability to see that there is something better out there? let me know. would love to hear from someone who does have that unknown feeling of HOPE.
     
  15. Ninja

    Ninja Active Member

    There's hope in Christ. He can help you. He helped me.
     
  16. ihope2die

    ihope2die Active Member

    i just don't have an easy way to die...i wish i had a _____, so it would be easier.
     
  17. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Could be just plain fear. It might hurt more than anything else you've ever felt and while the grass isn't too green where you're standing at least you're familiar with it. As far as dying is concerned, no one knows what the other side of the fence is like. Hell, we could just be standing on a cliff. In a way, suicide is the ultimate risk. Release, relief, punishment, escape, who knows?
     
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