What Makes you wait to commite suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chernarus, Jul 1, 2008.

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  1. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    For right now its only waiting so i wont do it on my friends Birthday, what are you waiting for?
  2. Menekali

    Menekali Member

    I'm waiting until I feel better and get rid of these feelings in the first place. Not planning it, only makes it worse I think.
  3. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    good point all though it never worked for me.
  4. UpForAbbey

    UpForAbbey Guest

    For me, it's not really waiting for anything. My sister really keeps me going, we have a great relationship. Shes 12, almost 13. I've pretty much been a mother to her since I was 11-12, and now its great to see her as more of a sister than a daughter. Whenever I get low, I think of her. And when that doesnt work, I think of the people I have here on SF, and also my dog, Buddy. I don't think it's so much a "date" that needs to be focused on. You said that you were waiting for your friend's birthday. Perhaps you could focus more on the friend him(her)self rather than the date. I'm sure that people would be upset if you were to die, hun. :hug:
  5. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    they usually joke that the world would be a better place with out me lol we joke like that but theyll get over it soon.
  6. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Because in death we'd only find nothing or jealousy of the living.
  7. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    depression, loneliness and my intense fear of other people and places. it doesn't help that i see things in absolutes (one of the joys of being borderline and bipolar) and spring and early summer (about how long it takes me to come out of things) are always hard, it seems i am always reliving the death of my fiance, even though it it has been some good years ago (a little bit of PTSD i guess). it also doesn't help that every relationship i have had since has turned out to be a disaster (what is that saying "there is no living up to an angel"). my self hard and my ED always remerge in the spring. and even though i am terrified of other people being alone is unbearable. it never seems to end, i don't feel i belong her, since her passing on three different occasions my life has been in jeopardy, from throwing a blood clot to my lungs, and two different medication reactions that could have been fatal. i sometimes wonder what keeps me here, i don't want to do anything by my own hand, but it has steadily gotten harder each year. t is like it is my lot in life to suffer, as i have gotten older my tolerance and the effectiveness of medications that once worked no longer do or cause such side effects they make living my life in any sense of normalcy impossible, and i only see it getting worse...

    i have a hard time seeing the purpose, i am sick of philosophical crap about learning something or being able to help other. i love my family but as time passes resentments only grow stronger, i am finding it hard to see the logic in "the harm i will do to the people in my life by killing myself" when day by day i either grow to dislike and even hate them more, and the ones i don't hate i further remove myself from...

    in medical circles the debate rages about is it fair to leave some one to live in day to day suffering, i find it hypocritical not to apply this to mental illness for the sake of others and not the afflicted, suffering is suffering...

  8. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    Waiting for doubt to pass, to feel ready and to fully accept my own decision. There is a fear of ceasing to exist, knowing that all that I am would be no more.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I would have to say my daughter who told me if I tried to commit again she would never forgive me, Then there is my grandaughter. She is very smart and I fear it would do her more damage, then there is my puppy "Digger". He has grown on me and needs alot of care wright now.:chopper:
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Nothing, now
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2008
  11. hellbunny

    hellbunny Member

    I dont know how i'm still here!

    today i just being taking it minute by minute is the only way i can do it.
  12. Idon'twant2live

    Idon'twant2live Active Member

    Fear, fear of the unknown. Fear of never ending pain, fear I'll go to hell.
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    the pain, every time i try to do it , i get too scared of the pain i will feel in the process. i would like to be able to say that my family makes me wait, but unfortunately my family hate me.
  14. unbearable

    unbearable Well-Known Member

    nephews 2nd birthday, wouldn't want to be called selfish and hated, ruining it wouldn't be my intention. After that im free .........It upsets me when doctors ask 'so what are you waiting for', it feels as though they are smugly telling me to get on with it :sad:
    I know thats probably irrational and its just a question so they can learn more about the situation but my brain always twists it.
  15. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    ya thats all i am waiting for, my friends birtday then i will disapear for good.
  16. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    The only surefire way to off myself is near impossible where I live right now.
  17. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    What makes me wait? the one i love... i can't hurt her by leaving her behind if i ended my life...
  18. glassdarkly

    glassdarkly New Member

    nothing, either except i'm kinda scared of doing it and wouldn't even know how.

    but honestly, every moment that i am here is filled with pain. it really, really hurts to be alive.
  19. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    im afraid of whatll happen when i die
    i dont know if people will call me selfish
    or if they will die because i did

    i have too many friends who would kill themselves if
    i wasnt in this earth

    also, for my sister..
    because shes been having a rough time :[
  20. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

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