I am 44 years ol and I have absolutely nothing to live for. I have children that act like they care about me, grandchildren that i love more than anything that I'm "not allowed" to be a part of their lives. I live with my mother. I cannot get a job. I have no friends. I'm in pain daily from fibromyalgia and cannot see a dr. because I have no money or insurance. I go nowhere interesting, I do nothing fun. I have no phone, I wrecked my mom's car yesterday. I had a thought...I pretended that I disappeared into thin air and imagined how people or things would be different...I couldn't come up with anybody that would actually miss me. I just feel like I have no place here in this world. I'm tired inside. I just want to go to sleep and be at peace. I just want my mind to stop racing. I just want to stop hurting inside. I feel like I could just drive a knife through my chest and end it all. Its not like anyone would care or even notice.