What matters anymore?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sotiredofitall, May 4, 2012.

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  1. sotiredofitall

    sotiredofitall New Member

    I am 44 years ol and I have absolutely nothing to live for. I have children that act like they care about me, grandchildren that i love more than anything that I'm "not allowed" to be a part of their lives. I live with my mother. I cannot get a job. I have no friends. I'm in pain daily from fibromyalgia and cannot see a dr. because I have no money or insurance. I go nowhere interesting, I do nothing fun. I have no phone, I wrecked my mom's car yesterday. I had a thought...I pretended that I disappeared into thin air and imagined how people or things would be different...I couldn't come up with anybody that would actually miss me. I just feel like I have no place here in this world. I'm tired inside. I just want to go to sleep and be at peace. I just want my mind to stop racing. I just want to stop hurting inside. I feel like I could just drive a knife through my chest and end it all. Its not like anyone would care or even notice.
  2. Vault

    Vault New Member

    It sounds like you're in a tough spot, I'm truly sorry you're in that situation. Try and hang in there, though. You can beat this. I know it sucks not having any friends, but you can try to make some. In real life, or online. If you need someone to talk to, shoot me a message, I'd be glad to listen. Don't let your situation bring you down. You can find something to live for, and with any luck, you can find a way to be part of your grandchildren's lives again.

    I'm very sorry you're in this type of situation, but try to overcome it, you're stronger than this. I hope you hang in there, I know these words probably won't help much, but try to stay strong.
  3. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    Hi, SoTired. First, I'm very sorry you're going through this dark time right now. We've all been there. Sometimes you just need a push in the right direction.

    Sounds like you have a lot going on with many different issues. What you want to do is not look at them all at once. Too overwhelming. Let's tackle one or two at a time. Eventually, we'll get your life back on track and to the point you're happy again.

    That's not true, pal. Think back to a time in your life when you were truly happy; whether it was a fun day or a girl you loved, etc. You can feel those things again. Just takes a little determination and willpower. You can do it. It won't be easy, but it is certainly within reach.

    Tell me about why you aren't allowed to see them. Unless something really awful happened, you and your grandchildren can be a part of each other's lives again, just may take some work, but it's definitely manageable.

    First thing is to get a job. I know it's hard out there, but there's work. You just have to know where to look. Use every resourse you can. If you need some help in that department, let me know and I can help you find one.

    Once you get a job, you can begin saving up for a place of your own or a place with a roommate. Put a certain amount aside each month and you will have enough put away to get your own place before the end of the year.

    As far as friends, they will come, especially when you get a job. You'll meet people. Also try going out to local places to meet people like at the bar at Chili's, Applebee's and other family restaurants. You won't meet anyone if you don't go out.

    Besides, you have friends here.

    That is your easiest problem to remedy. Once you get a job and money starts coming in, put aside a certain amount for you to go out as I described above. Go on dates. Find love again. There are many women who are looking for a good man like yourself. Don't rush anything, just take your time and follow your heart. As far as your phone, you'll be able to get one after the first or second paycheck.

    I don't think any of that is true. A lot would be different if you decided to give up. Your children and grandchildren for one. How do you think your grandchildren will feel when they get older and miss out on not having you around? You wouldn't want them to miss out on that, would you? You have a place in this world. There is happiness in store for you. Just need to be strong, hold your chin up and take life by the reigns.

    There's a good quote by Ben Franklin. He said if passion drives you, let reason hold the reigns.

    I want you to know I'm here for you if you need anything. Don't hesitate to ask for help. We've all been there. We'll get you where you need to be.

    Before you do anything rash, promise me you'll sit down first, put on some relaxing music and just relax for 30 minutes. Clear your head and think things out rationally.
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