First and foremost I apologize for my vulgarity. If most of you, and I'm sure that I'm speaking about a good number of you have reoccurring thoughts of the inevitable, what keeps you going? Why does this all matter? The struggle, the loss, the fuckin' fight, hm? There is no gain without significant loss, is that it? Well, where is the gain then? Where the hell is my overwhelming happiness after five fucking plus years of going through with this? My amazingly easy life? All I get is "You should try harder." "Stop complaining." Do you realize how redundant that gets after hearing it from every single person? I could drive myself mad with how many people PREACH about how easy everyone else has it. Well, open your fucking eyes, asshole. Not everyone should be taken at face value. A smile doesn't directly mean happiness, and a laugh sure as hell doesn't qualify for it either. Yes, I'm mad.